Saw this "benchtop punch" on craigslist, got a real human being who responded when I replied to the ad, and spend $50 green cash money. 2-ton Arbor press from a company that (evidently) still makes them. Missing the usual press support, came with a wicked dull round punch & die and a somewhat less abused-looking but I haven't tried it square punch and die. Not that far from where it was born...just one state over. And has to be the ideal brand for nerds. Probably lacks the sheer punching power of a Roper-Whitney that was built specifically for that job, but one of many roles it can serve.
Perhaps someday I'll have the margins to paint it up to look half as nice as Samantha's old iron.
Right now I'm just trying to figure out if I have the margins to tile the bathroom floor (at least the piece under the toilet) before I finally put plumbing in, or if I just slap it in on bare concrete and then have to yank it out when I find time to tile, which I'd prefer to avoid.