Many of us have played gigs at some of the nastiest, sleaziest, most ill-reputed watering holes conceivable. For better or for worse, these establishments have a permanent place within our trade. So, let's hear about the seediest places you've played!
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I'll start....
A place that closed down years ago in North-central Ohio: The bar was in an absolutely terrible neighborhood. The building was very old and in serious disrepair. Floors and walls had holes in them. Bathrooms just had layers of urine-soaked cardboard laid down for flooring. The whole place smelled like an ashtray and urinal mixed into one. However, they had a stage consisting of loosely-stacked cinder blocks. It was hit or miss if the electrical service to the place would support a band on any given night. I think I only got shocked a few times.
A place that closed down years ago in North-central Ohio: The bar was in an absolutely terrible neighborhood. The building was very old and in serious disrepair. Floors and walls had holes in them. Bathrooms just had layers of urine-soaked cardboard laid down for flooring. The whole place smelled like an ashtray and urinal mixed into one. However, they had a stage consisting of loosely-stacked cinder blocks. It was hit or miss if the electrical service to the place would support a band on any given night. I think I only got shocked a few times.
I've posted this story before but it certainly belongs in this thread.
I played a dive bar many years ago that as soon as we walked in the door everybody mentioned that the place smelled BAD. I mean the air was toxic. There were about 20 or so hard core barflies in the place. Most likely regulars who no longer noticed the foul smell of unclean restrooms and beer stained filthy carpet. Truly the dive gig of your nightmares.
As we were playing the stench started getting to me. I got light headed and started feeling nauseous. My head was spinning, ears started ringing and I couldn't hear a thing. All I could think about was to not lose it on stage. The next to last song was a 1 4 5 blues number. In my struggle to keep it together I sensed things didn't sound right. I looked at my hands and saw I was playing a half step flat and didn't even know it.
At that very moment my feet went out from under me and I was on my ass. I actually had walked off the 2' high stage. Fortunately I wasn't hurt and got back on stage and finished the show. I had to sit outside in fresh air for a good twenty minutes before I could go back in to pack up.
That was the worst gig in the worst venue I ever had.
I played a dive bar many years ago that as soon as we walked in the door everybody mentioned that the place smelled BAD. I mean the air was toxic. There were about 20 or so hard core barflies in the place. Most likely regulars who no longer noticed the foul smell of unclean restrooms and beer stained filthy carpet. Truly the dive gig of your nightmares.
As we were playing the stench started getting to me. I got light headed and started feeling nauseous. My head was spinning, ears started ringing and I couldn't hear a thing. All I could think about was to not lose it on stage. The next to last song was a 1 4 5 blues number. In my struggle to keep it together I sensed things didn't sound right. I looked at my hands and saw I was playing a half step flat and didn't even know it.
At that very moment my feet went out from under me and I was on my ass. I actually had walked off the 2' high stage. Fortunately I wasn't hurt and got back on stage and finished the show. I had to sit outside in fresh air for a good twenty minutes before I could go back in to pack up.
That was the worst gig in the worst venue I ever had.
With threads like this, I feel lucky. I never aspired to play in anything but decent venues.
Too many over the years. Hard to decide which was worst. Luckily those days are well behind for now, I hope.
Biker bar, bathroom floor made of road signs. Kind of place with women’s undergarments hanging behind the bar. Guitarists wife got bit by a woman while trying to use the alley “restroom”.
Another place, near an Air Force base, had a metal outlet box hanging from a hole in the ceiling by the wiring as the “stage” power.
Another place, near an Air Force base, had a metal outlet box hanging from a hole in the ceiling by the wiring as the “stage” power.
Back in the early 90's...The seediest place I've played was a biker bar that was way off the beaten path, was frequented by 1%'ers who rode their bikes around the bar, literally around the bar area inside the club. Lots of elicit substances, alcohol and questionable activities were done in plain sight when we were playing.
I loved that place, they crowd was always great and unpredictable.
I loved that place, they crowd was always great and unpredictable.
Hi,
Loretta's Lounge on Valley Blvd. in Fontana California. It was full of truckers and the ladies who loved them, along with the usual meth-heads, drug dealers, and drunks. All the best looking women had more teeth than tattoos. We used to park across the street at the adult bookstore because we didn't want anyone to know we were playing there.
Thank you for your indulgence,
BassCliff
Loretta's Lounge on Valley Blvd. in Fontana California. It was full of truckers and the ladies who loved them, along with the usual meth-heads, drug dealers, and drunks. All the best looking women had more teeth than tattoos. We used to park across the street at the adult bookstore because we didn't want anyone to know we were playing there.
Thank you for your indulgence,
BassCliff
I once played a place that had a 120# Pit Bull for a bouncer. NOBODY argued with that dog.
I played in a place that had the police paddy wagons posted outside at 5:00. That place was bad, but the hotel room was worse. The bathroom sink had no hot water, and the shower had no cold water. I bought some cleaner to sanitize the shower before use. When you're 24 years old, those things aren't the big deals that they are now 40 years later.
SirMjac28
Patiently Waiting For The Next British Invasion
I played here once in the 90's owner was a real witch.
Not a seedy bar or dive bar but years ago a party given by an acquaintance of our drummer.
The house was in the worst section of a gang infested part of town. We were to play in the backyard.
Fights kept breaking out all over the place, someone got shot down the street, my car was broken into and one of
my cabs was stolen. On the makeshift stage, people kept yelling at us, beer was spilled or thrown at me and my amp.
Drunk girls would talk to us quickly followed by an irate boyfriend threatening to cut us or if we're lucky, just kick our ass.
Then we started our first song, first set.
We got paid and got drunk for free and got home without a scratch. Next morning woke up and through a hangover haze vowed to never again play a party or venue sight unseen or trust the drummer with booking gigs. I also demanded the drummer or his friend reimburse me for the stolen cab.
He said he'd get it to me soon. That was 30 years ago and I'm still waiting.
The house was in the worst section of a gang infested part of town. We were to play in the backyard.
Fights kept breaking out all over the place, someone got shot down the street, my car was broken into and one of
my cabs was stolen. On the makeshift stage, people kept yelling at us, beer was spilled or thrown at me and my amp.
Drunk girls would talk to us quickly followed by an irate boyfriend threatening to cut us or if we're lucky, just kick our ass.
Then we started our first song, first set.
We got paid and got drunk for free and got home without a scratch. Next morning woke up and through a hangover haze vowed to never again play a party or venue sight unseen or trust the drummer with booking gigs. I also demanded the drummer or his friend reimburse me for the stolen cab.
He said he'd get it to me soon. That was 30 years ago and I'm still waiting.
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Spring of 2011 I was busy being a really inept bandleader. I was so proud I got the band a regular Friday night gig! It was at a place called Mike's Side Pocket. Every Friday in March, we played a mishmash of stuff I liked (I was the bandleader, whoooeee!) and some original stuff. The crowd was made up mostly of people who had the night off from working in a meth lab. Most of them knew each other. They tolerated us because...actually, I don't know why.
Then came the last Friday night in March, and around 11:45 in walked a very large, very drunk gentleman waving around a taser. Angie, behind the bar (like I said, they all knew each other) yelled "Oh Bobby, put that thing down, you gonna hurt somebody." We all looked at each other, like maybe we should just run out the door. But we had this dumb momentum going, and we finished the song and finished the set (we stopped at midnight). There were two pool tables in the middle of the room. We did the fastest load out ever, always making sure that we were on the far side of whichever pool table Bobby and his taser were.
The following Monday I called Angie and made some lame excuse for why we weren't going to come back next week. Then almost exactly a year later: "West Ashville Knife Spree Leaves Three Dead, Including Killer."
So we missed The Big One. Here's a picture, gives you a hint about the decor. Klassy with a capital "K"
Cops at Mike's:
Then came the last Friday night in March, and around 11:45 in walked a very large, very drunk gentleman waving around a taser. Angie, behind the bar (like I said, they all knew each other) yelled "Oh Bobby, put that thing down, you gonna hurt somebody." We all looked at each other, like maybe we should just run out the door. But we had this dumb momentum going, and we finished the song and finished the set (we stopped at midnight). There were two pool tables in the middle of the room. We did the fastest load out ever, always making sure that we were on the far side of whichever pool table Bobby and his taser were.
The following Monday I called Angie and made some lame excuse for why we weren't going to come back next week. Then almost exactly a year later: "West Ashville Knife Spree Leaves Three Dead, Including Killer."
So we missed The Big One. Here's a picture, gives you a hint about the decor. Klassy with a capital "K"
Cops at Mike's:
gustobassman
I'm only here for the after party..
- Mar 31, 2011
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I play dives all the time... One time at a dive in a pretty bad local neighborhood, my lady was standing outside with me waiting to load in and people driving by thought I was her pimp. She was dressed rather conservatively as well. Haven't been back there..
The first time we played a dive in Hemet, CA the first person we met told us he had just gotten out of jail for killing a transient and showed us his ankle bracelet. Classy...
Another one had the absolute worst men's room I have ever been in. Semi-clean but try this... Think about a backed up septic system, with an overflowing grease trap and top that off with dead rodents - that was the stench that came out of this particular bathroom. And the door happened to be right behind me.
The whole set I was nearly dry-heaving. Just getting a breath of air was pretty rough!
The first time we played a dive in Hemet, CA the first person we met told us he had just gotten out of jail for killing a transient and showed us his ankle bracelet. Classy...
Another one had the absolute worst men's room I have ever been in. Semi-clean but try this... Think about a backed up septic system, with an overflowing grease trap and top that off with dead rodents - that was the stench that came out of this particular bathroom. And the door happened to be right behind me.
The whole set I was nearly dry-heaving. Just getting a breath of air was pretty rough!
Back in the early 90's my band's guitar player booked us at a small dive bar near Monroe, LA. When I got to the place I totally freaked. The "band stand" was in the corner of the front room right up against floor to ceiling plate glass windows. When we finished playing the gig on Friday night I started disconnecting everything from the PA and rolling up cables. The guitar player that booked the gig walked over and asked me what I was doing. I told him I was packing up the sound system so that I could load it back on the trailer and take it home. He say's "But we are playing here again tomorrow night so why are you doing that?" I told him to take a look around. He say's "what?" I said "There is no way I'm leaving $25,000.00 worth of gear in a building that is probably worth a couple of thousand bucks and likely has no insurance to cover it in case of theft or damage. Then I told him... "By the way... After tomorrow night I will never bring my gear back to this place.