Gig etiquette question

Isaac_James

Isaac_James

May 20, 2021
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Eugene, OR
#1
I played a show last night with my band. This is our second show as a group, and before I joined them I had taken several years off playing shows so I am shaking off some dust still when it comes to gigging.

We ended up being the last of four bands to play, this was a show at a bar where every band gets a cut of the cover charge. Last of four is kind of a crummy slot, we went on around midnight and a lot of the crowd had cleared out by that point, but so it goes.

I noticed that the first two bands to play loaded their gear out after they finished playing, and apparently left for the night as I didn't see them again, even when it was time to get paid at the end of the night. My assumption, going back to when I started playing shows at bars, was that it's just good manners to stick around and listen to the other bands you're sharing a bill with. I guess I'd understand if the bands were out of towners who had a long drive home or something, but both the other groups were locals.

Am I off base here, or is this bad etiquette? At the last show we played (same bar, different bands) we had the first slot and stuck around till the end of the night, because I figured that's just what you do at a show.
 
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#2
I'll stick around to watch a band play a set after my band if (a) they sound good, and (b) I don't have to be somewhere early the next day, or (c) I don't have to travel a long distance to get home. But I don't feel obligated to do so as a matter of etiquette and I don't expect a band that played before mine to stay to watch mine if they're not inclined.
 
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#3
4SG said:
I'll stick around to watch a band play a set after my band if (a) they sound good, and (b) I don't have to be somewhere early the next day, or (c) I don't have to travel a long distance to get home. But I don't feel obligated to do so as a matter of etiquette and I don't expect a band that played before mine to stay to watch mine if they're not inclined.
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Does someone have to stick around to get paid in this case? Or do you come back the next day for your cut of the proceeds?
 
#4
As an opener I’d normally stick around but mostly because I like to support live music. I don’t know if there is really any unwritten rule. As a headliner the challenge of first sound check and last play slot means sometimes dinner or other things keep you from seeing the sets of opener.
That said, 4 bands probably blurs it all a little. It might be hard for everyone to stick around for 3 bands after playing.
I’d say you should do what you think is right and lead by example. If you know people in bands that share your bill say hello and be visible before or after their set and invite them to stay. Network, in other words.
 
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#5
Killing Floor said:
As an opener I’d normally stick around but mostly because I like to support live music. I don’t know if there is really any unwritten rule. As a headliner the challenge of first sound check and last play slot means sometimes dinner or other things keep you from seeing the sets of opener.
That said, 4 bands probably blurs it all a little. It might be hard for everyone to stick around for 3 bands after playing.
I’d say you should do what you think is right and lead by example. If you know people in bands that share your bill say hello and be visible before or after their set and invite them to stay. Network, in other words.
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Good advice. I definitely did some networking before and between the sets - the two early bands are comprised of delightful people who I enjoyed talking to, so I certainly don't take offense at their decision to dip out (full confession, had we been first I would have been tempted to do the same - I was running on fumes myself after a rough night consoling a cranky 3 year old). We hope to share a bill again with at least one of the other bands, I'm just a little bummed they didn't get to hear us play.

On the bright side though, we did get asked for an encore at the end of our set, so we pulled out one of our backup songs. The crowd at the end of the night wasn't big but they were enthusiastic at least!
 
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#6
I see where you’re coming from but sometimes that’s just how it goes with 4 band bills.

We usually don’t do these kind of gigs. When we have in the past, some of our members are at the venue for the full 4-6hr show. They also don’t have a family at home.

I have a wife and young child so I’m not staying out all night after working all day. If I’m in the last band, I’m not coming 4 hrs before my slot to see the first band. If I’m in the first band, I’m not staying till the end.
 
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#7
Isaac_James said:
Good advice. I definitely did some networking before and between the sets - the two early bands are comprised of delightful people who I enjoyed talking to, so I certainly don't take offense at their decision to dip out (full confession, had we been first I would have been tempted to do the same - I was running on fumes myself after a rough night consoling a cranky 3 year old). We hope to share a bill again with at least one of the other bands, I'm just a little bummed they didn't get to hear us play.

On the bright side though, we did get asked for an encore at the end of our set, so we pulled out one of our backup songs. The crowd at the end of the night wasn't big but they were enthusiastic at least!
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That’s the spirit. And friends tell friends so next time that crowd will grow. Don’t know anything about what/where you play but IME those club gigs with more than a couple bands there is often a lot of turnover of the crowd until you are the one drawing them in. Meanwhile stick it out and have fun.
 
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#8
LukeSlywalker said:
I see where you’re coming from but sometimes that’s just how it goes with 4 band bills.

We usually don’t do these kind of gigs. When we have in the past, some of our members are at the venue for the full 4-6hr show. They also don’t have a family at home.

I have a wife and young child so I’m not staying out all night after working all day. If I’m in the last band, I’m not coming 4 hrs before my slot to see the first band. If I’m in the first band, I’m not staying till the end.
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I also have a family with young kids at home, young enough that they can't fend for themselves when it comes to breakfast and so they don't care if Papa comes home and goes to bed at 10 like a reasonable human or stays out till 2 like I did last night. So I would LOVE to be able to bounce before the end of the night on the days we play early, as long as it's not a massive faux pas that will alienate other bands / venue staff.

One question I have is regarding the band's cut; the payout on shows like this doesn't happen until the end of the night as it's a portion of the cover charge, so does someone from the band stay and collect while everyone else goes home, or do you come back the next day? Or do some venues do Venmo now? (Like I said, it's been a while since I did this).
 
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#10
Depending on your scene, it isn’t uncommon for bands, and crowds to bounce.
One, it is hard to trust your gear in your car. Bands getting stuff stolen out of a parked car is all too common.
Two, not everyone in a band wants to be up all night watching bands they don't know. People have jobs, families, etc.
I check out the bands I'm playing with before I play most of my shows. If a band is interesting I might stick around. If not, I'm out.

Is it rude to bail after you play. I guess. Is it as common as saying good morning. Yes. The music biz isn't a warm friendly fraternity. Sorry, it just isn't.
 
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#13
Isaac_James said:
I also have a family with young kids at home, young enough that they can't fend for themselves when it comes to breakfast and so they don't care if Papa comes home and goes to bed at 10 like a reasonable human or stays out till 2 like I did last night. So I would LOVE to be able to bounce before the end of the night on the days we play early, as long as it's not a massive faux pas that will alienate other bands / venue staff.

One question I have is regarding the band's cut; the payout on shows like this doesn't happen until the end of the night as it's a portion of the cover charge, so does someone from the band stay and collect while everyone else goes home, or do you come back the next day? Or do some venues do Venmo now? (Like I said, it's been a while since I did this).
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It’s not a massive faux pas that will alienate you. When I have bounced before seeing the rest of the bands, I always introduce myself to them, explain why I can’t stay, and ask when they are playing next so that maybe I can check them out then. No bridges burned here.

The getting paid at the end or when your set is over is probably different for every venue. I’m not the band leader in current band so I don’t worry about that. Leader usually Venmo’s me the next morning. Lately we’re doing our own two set shows or sharing the bill with just one other band so we already know how much we’re getting paid before we play.
 
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#14
Isaac_James said:
I played a show last night with my band. This is our second show as a group, and before I joined them I had taken several years off playing shows so I am shaking off some dust still when it comes to gigging.

We ended up being the last of four bands to play, this was a show at a bar where every band gets a cut of the cover charge. Last of four is kind of a crummy slot, we went on around midnight and a lot of the crowd had cleared out by that point, but so it goes.

I noticed that the first two bands to play loaded their gear out after they finished playing, and apparently left for the night as I didn't see them again, even when it was time to get paid at the end of the night. My assumption, going back to when I started playing shows at bars, was that it's just good manners to stick around and listen to the other bands you're sharing a bill with. I guess I'd understand if the bands were out of towners who had a long drive home or something, but both the other groups were locals.

Am I off base here, or is this bad etiquette? At the last show we played (same bar, different bands) we had the first slot and stuck around till the end of the night, because I figured that's just what you do at a show.
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People have lives and the pay is crummy for these kinds of shows, there's absolutely no requirement to stick around as support to the other bands, but it's nice if some folks do. Be happy about the ones who stayed because they didn't have to. You have no idea what's going on in their lives and it's not really a good look to judge others like this.

I have encountered this sense of entitlement before in musicians who felt like the other bands and their friends were hostages to the event, but they are not.

Personally I don't want people hanging out of a sense of duty. I want them there because they like the music I'm participating in.
 
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#16
Nope, not unless I'm interested in the band. Most nights I'm there to work not to party so I load up and head out as soon as possible. I leave it up to the bandleader to handle getting paid and sending it my way. Not being rude, I just don't consider it my obligation to be the audience for other bands and don't consider it their obligation to my audience.
 
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