Multiple band disappointments have led to a loss in inspiration to write

Lichtaffen

Lichtaffen

Sep 29, 2008
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#1
I'm not going to go on about my personal experiences over the past 25+ years because it would be a long read and no one reads more than one sentence at a time on the interwebs (thanks Twitter). Plus I'm sure most of you have gone through your own share of band disappointments and you can immediately relate.

The last band was a new type of disappointment: lead singer/keys (can barely play with more than 2 fingers on each hand when playing keys) was a lazy B.S. artiste and rarely could learn keyboard parts I would write for him. Also when we recorded our 4 song EP, he decided one take was enough for his vocals and we could literally just fix anything in "autotune". His lack of musicianship lead me to stop writing because he was basically shooting songs down that he was afraid he wouldn't be able to play. There are only so many 2 chord songs a band should have. It was obvious I needed to quit this band and I did after we completed our recording. Big relief.

The disappointment is that I feel like his harsh criticism of my writing has lead to inhibitions in my writing that didn't exist before. I started trying to write things I felt the singer would like, not what I would like to hear. Now I've sort of lost my inspiration to write in general.

I'm not necessarily asking for advice but rather to hear other people's experiences who may relate to the above. Sure, give advice if you feel, but just remember: the worst vice is advice.
 
#3
My disapointment comes from another channel:

I considere myself a creative person and I need to create new music very often. While we're composing, arranging , rehearsing and recording our last record I felt great...But after the record was released and played some shows my band has stopped to create and they only want to do gigs while I want to start creating new songs. In this way I'm disapointed with that lack of ambition. When some people proposed us some acoustic gigs I felt great again..re arranging songs, playing acoustic guitar and irish bouzouki...Our singer wanted to do that gigs, our ex-drummer said "I'm not good at acoustic environmets" (and he never played acoustic stuff with us) and our guitar player started to doubt about his acoustic guitar skills... I was the only really excited about new musical challenges...

I'm so insecure in some areas of my life , but I'm a very bold guy when it has something to do with playing music...My bandmates are so conservative and they want to stay in their "musical comfort zone" ... I want to play with more musically brave people...
 
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#5
Writing is about pleasing yourself. It's your creation and started with your mind. There isn't a problem with getting creative input from others as long as it steers the music in the same direction, but in the end, it's your music, don't worry about pleasing others. I'd certainly not handicap my writing for a lazy singer or other musician I would be working with.
 
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#6
From my perspective it sounds like the hit you took with working with that pretender has nothing to do with your writing.

I can understand that when other people don't put their fare share of effort in to making music, it can make you feel like you're wasting your time and ultimately that you aren't capable of being a musician. But I think most of the time you have to walk away from people like that and find people that are willing to put the time and energy into it.

There's pretenders in nearly every field. But if they are lowering the standards, you have to accept that you are allowing them to do so by choosing to work with them.

Regardless: you owe it to yourself to keep writing and keep being a musician. I find inspiration hard sometimes. But you have to just try out as many methods as you can and keep writing. Even if only for yourself.

The show must go on.
Don't let stupidity of others wreck your own enjoyment of music and creativity.
Fire the bastard/s or start a new project. (Or maybe both :smug: )
 
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#8
I know where you are coming from. People close to me would listen to my demos and say, it's good.. but this sounds weird, and did you want this to sound this way? and your voice is unpleasant.. but it's good. I was thereby trained only to listen to criticism because the criticism was very specific and the praise was insincere. I changed a lot to please these sorts of people. I started singing in a completely different way. What I wanted was support, which is what other musicians get. They were embarrassed that I was sharing my music.
 
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#9
I think the best way to avoid these situations is to think in advance about what you want to achieve and write it down. This time, just see it as a learning experience which will help you when you're thinking about it. Writing forces you to think about it before you write, then you've got something tangible to think back to whenever someone approaches you, or you can start your own thing!

This blog post might be helpful or relatable:

Edit: proper link

Vesni | Home | Australian Band
 
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#11
Stuff like what the OP wrote eventually morphed us into a cover band that would put our own spin on other peoples' material. I guess the upshot is that we have actually been booked on a regular basis since then. I used to write a lot but as I've grown older the inspiration has sadly gone down a lot. If there was a market for it though, I would definitely ramp it back up again.

I have friends that crank out pretty decent self-made CD's and they sound great. They make them and everybody listens to them once and then subsequently file them away. If somebody could come up with something that would compel the listener to keep coming back to their creation then they would truly have something.
 
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#12
If you are going to write music that you want other people to play, you can either hire players to do what you want, or you can deal with many many cubic yards of rejection. Being a cheapskate, I chose the latter path for many years. I even put my own band together for about a year and a half--good players, nice guys, we cut a 6-song EP, and for a while things looked promising...but in the end, I couldn't in good conscience keep them, because I had no clue then how to build an audience, and the money was a joke. My next move was into an excellent blues/r&b cover band. They liked one song off the EP, and one other song (one of many!) that I wrote especially for them. Both songs were well-received, but neither was ever recorded by them. All I have to show for that now is the memory of getting some very nice applause (my favorite drug) at several nice venues when the songs were played.

I'm now in another part of the country, and I'm sort of back to square 2: Playing in a very good cover band and trying, from time to time, to get them to at least run through a song or two in rehearsal. Maybe they will, maybe they won't. It would be nice to get some recognition, but I'm not gonna crawl into a corner and die if it doesn't happen. I comfort myself with this quote from the famous mystery writer Raymond Chandler. It is the inspiration for my tagline "I'm not an artist, I'm in the service business." It's tough stuff, but I believe it is profoundly true. YMMV, as always:

"If I had the talent to be first-class, I would still lack the hard core of selfishness which is necessary to exploit that talent to the full. The creative artist seems to be almost the only kind of man that you could never meet on neutral ground. You can only meet him as an artist. He sees nothing objectively because his own ego is always in the foreground of every picture. Even when he is not talking about his art, which is seldom, he is still thinking about it. If he is a writer, he tends to associate only with other writers and with the various parasitic growths which batten on writing. To all these people literature is more or less the central fact of existence. Whereas, to vast numbers of reasonably intelligent people it is an unimportant sideline, a relaxation, an escape, sometimes even a source of inspiration. But they could do without it far more easily than they could do without coffee or whisky."

Best of luck.
 
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#13
Thank you for all the responses. Obviously I quit the project and it feels like an enormous weight off my back by knowing I never have to interact with this loser again. My wife sees a huge difference in my overall attitude.

The primary reason I stayed with it for so long is the drummer/producer and I have a great relationship and he wanted to give it a chance because the music was quite good. I may take a few of the songs and rework them since they were my creations. He and I will continue to write/record, no question. We have great chemistry.

Funny thing: @bassbrad ‘s suggestion of joining a blues band was something I considered when I quit because I love the blues and always have had positive experiences playing that genre with others. He kinda read my mind. Too bad the scene around here is almost nonexistant.
 
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#14
Pretty much every original project i have ever been a part of has failed before making it anywhere(usually never even made it to the first gig). The bands i play with now tend to play standard jazz rep and rearranged covers.

At some point i decided that i have no interest in trying another original start up band unless there was some really good assurance it would work out. My future vision is more about me only, producing my own music and collaborating with others only when it makes sense. I still have alot of gear to get to make that happen though, essentially need a home studio for what i want to do.
 
#15
I try and keep this quote in mind
success-consists-of-going-from-failure-to-failure-without-loss-of-enthusiasm-quote-1.jpg
 
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#16
It definitely happens. I had a slightly different thing happen to me. I was married to a woman who didn't allow me to play my instruments at home or even listen to rock because her mother had sensitive hearing. On the other hand, her mother used to have the TV on at all times. I ended up being so frustrated that I would take my acoustic up to the terrace and spend hours there since it was the only place I was guaranteed a bit of me time. Needless to say, we're divorced, not just because of this but due to numerous other issues, but it took me close to a year before I was able to get inspiration back and actually start composing again. There were times when I felt like the fire had been extinguished completely and they were definitely scary. Just go out, listen to a whole lot of new music and believe in yourself. It will all come back to you eventually :) Good luck!
 
#17
I have had my share of disappointments in bands which has led me to writing and recording my self. I found bandlab a social media to be a godsend. You post your songs and other musicians can collaborate with you. You can even start groups all digitally. You connect with great musicians. It has been so cool I don't miss playing in person much.

I have experienced this before horrible bandmates shooting down ideas. Not trying to sound arrogant because I have written my share of crappy songs. However it is a common defense mechanism when a bad musician is in a band they try and pull everyone to their level. It sounds like he shot you down because your songs where out of his comfort zone. Please don't let that hurt your confidence. For one it didn't sound like he was writing anything. The hardest part of song writing is putting yourself out there and sometimes getting negative feedback. In the beginning this happens a lot (not saying you're a beginner) however it doesn't ever stop no matter how long you're at it.

I write sometimes write some really ****ing odd stuff. Very heavy, dissonant, and odd. I enjoy it I listen to some weird stuff. It is the musical equivalent of spam it is either gross to you or great. If I posted here I may get a lot of *** is that. I wouldn't take any offense. I have gotten plenty I don't like this but I can appreciate the playing and mix.

What I am getting at is to also find your audience. I show my obscure metal to people who I know like that genre but will also be honest of it sucks mix, composition, or recording wise. I spent a year learning cubase sending my mixes to my audio engineer friends, producers, and veteran musicians who's work I like. I would spend a great amount of time tinkering thinking ok I got it. In response I am told that mix is pretty rough. I asked for feedback and kept correcting and correcting until eventually they said it sounds solid.

I know I am rambling but I am getting to the point. A crappy, lazy, musician like that doesn't know what they're talking about. I have seen this types they suck but get mad when you write their parts yet can't write their own. I get it writing music is personal it can be hard to hear a song isn't good from anyone. It is your personal art you crafted. But never give up there is nothing like making a track knowing that no one else made it no matter what anyone thinks of it that is your art. Many people never make a song and know that feeling. If it would help get bandlab (it's free) and pm me I will give you my info and we can collab. Hope this helps.
 
#18
Inspiration is great, but it's a false economy. Maybe, rather than feeling totally uninspired you're transferring those creative resources in having to deal with other emotions such as disappointment and self-doubt. As musicians we are thrust headlong into the emotional sphere. It can be a crazy, confusing place at the best of times. But we're lucky that we have not only a way to express our emotions in a productive way, but also, if we're really lucky, a means to discover more about ourselves. I don't take this for granted, because I see so many who don't have this gift or ability or outlet.
 
#19
If you're writing a pop song (and if it has words and melody, it is, never mind the pedantic arguments about pop music), you have to write in a way that flatters the vocalist. But it shouldn't be about whether the vocalist would like the song, but whether it would sound good with that vocalist singing it, just like you consider whether a certain bass line would sound good on a Jazz Bass vs. a Precision Bass, and you have to write in a way that is possible for the vocalist, just like you wouldn't write extreme high and low notes for a 4-string bass but you might for a 6-string bass part.

That said, I think it's important to be self-critical when you write. So I'm not going to be like everyone here and say, ignore the criticism. It might be valid. A lot of people are not looking to improve their writing. But you can always work harder to make stronger hooks, more memorable lyrics, better schemes, etc. So think about if any of his criticisms were actually valid because some of them might have been. If it was just, "it's too complicated and I'm lazy," then that's not a valid criticism. If it's that, "I feel like there's no direction here," then that's something you needed to be telling yourself anyway.

I am not THE lead singer in any of my bands (though I can carry a tune and sing the occasional lead), but I'm nonetheless a prolific writer. So when I write a song, I try to hear it in somebody else's voice as I'm writing it. Of course, it's not just about vocals. I try to imagine all the parts as though they were my bandmates playing them. That means often, I write with limitations in mind. If someone can only play cowboy chords, I'm not going to write Zeppelin riffs for them to play because that's unreasonable, and people don't learn skills like that overnight. I might still write that song, but just save it for another time (which might never come).

While two-chord songs are indeed limiting, they can sometimes force you to focus your creativity in other ways. There are entire bands built around 2-4 chord songs that aren't just punk bands, for instance, New Order. They do this by making melodies and hooks that are so catchy that you could sing them a capella. A lot of guitarists and bassists excel at writing songs based on changes and riffs, but often write very throwaway vocals. I believe that unless you're writing rap music, you should try to make vocal melodies that stand on their own regardless of what chords you're playing under them. If you write a really great melody, you can often play an entirely different chord progression underneath the melody or riff and it will still work. This is why remixes can be made of popular songs which have nothing to do with the original song in terms of progression yet it still has the spirit of the song.

So while I'm saying, to some extent, that haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, there's a chance that the real reason you're having writer's block is because you might think some of his criticisms were true. And if they were, internalize them and see how you can overcome those shortcomings. One thing that really works for me as a writer is to write with absolutely no instruments around me. Just try it. Don't write a single chord. Only write words and melody. Then when you're done, then fit the progression to the vocals. You're probably going to come up with a stronger hook than you've ever come up with when you had to fit the hook to the progression.
 
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