Sub Audacity: ‘Etiquette Wrecks’

R

Richard Simon

Supporting Member
Dec 6, 2003
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Los Angeles, CA
www.richardsimon.com
#1
Happy New Year!

January 9, oddly enough, I was double-booked and recommended a bassist/friend for one of the jobs, a ‘jazz vespers’ gig very close to his home.
The following day the leader posted a message of thanks to the audience and to the band. I called my sub to congratulate him. He felt pretty good about his performance - and then he shocked me: ‘I gave the singer my CD; I wanted him to hear what I do in my trio.’
I said, in essence, ***!? I sent you as my sub, not to hustle the next gig for yourself.
I find it unconscionable.
He’d been moaning about his lack of work, but it never occurred to me that he would use the connection to forge his own - at my expense, potentially.

One part of me says ok, if the leader prefers hiring my sub next time, c’est la vie.
But another part says: it’s just flat-out wrong to hand out your CD like a politician would ply you with swag to romance a voter.

Am I wrong here? Do we live in a Darwinian jungle, where a friendship carries within it no scruples, when there’s no tacit understanding that this was meant as a favor and a one-time situation?

I’m supposed to meet the guy for lunch today. I could cancel and tell him I’m peeved, or meet him as planned and tell him I’m peeved.
Either way I feel like I’ll come out of it in his eyes as the Bad Guy, as overreacting, as misreading what he considered a harmless gesture.
One thing is clear: I can’t trust him now.
 
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#2
Interesting. I recommend a cooling off period. Cancel lunch politely and walk away for a while. See what happens with the band leader and assess whether or not it's going to cost you work. Damage assessment, damage control.

There are a few facts not in evidence that might sway me one way or another, but your closing statement is your truth and your power. You're not going to throw this guy any more work. Whether there is anything to be gained by hashing it out is probably not on the triage punch list right now.
 
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#3
We have had that happen a time or two in our gigs. Not very often fortunately. I think it is bad form, and makes anyone who knows better feel uncomfortable. But I would just take the high road, and say nothing. BUT maintain a strong mental reservation about the guy.
 
#4
Troy and Anne,
Thanks for your thoughtful replies.
With lunch still a few hours away,
I called the band leader and reined in my snarling suspicions this way:
Just wanted you to know I sent in the sub as a one-off, not intending him to take my place going forward. When he told me he handed you his C D, I thought he was ‘campaigning’ and perhaps misunderstanding the one-time sub situation.
The leader replied that it was a pleasant gig, the sub played well, the C D wasn’t presented to him tendentiously, and he would likely call me first next time based on our longtime familiarity.

That conversation cooled my jets to where I can sit down with the sub, civilly - though with, as you suggest, the ‘strong mental reservation.’

Again, thanks for the wisdom of the TB community.
 
#6
Post-Script (-Mortem?):
- Bandleader called to ask my hourly rate for rehearsing / as he wants to market himself as a pianist/singer + bass. (He “likely” hadn’t called the sub about this.)
- Lunch with sub started with him saying how hard he’d worked to prepare for the gig - “to make you sound good” -practicing the (total of three) charts and listening to MP3’s.

I said it’s always good as a matter of personal pride and professionalism to arrive prepared. Neither of us mentioned the c d presentation.

The rest of the 80 minutes was as bland as my veggie omelet. It felt like a couple meeting the morning after one of them had confessed to cheating: you want to move on, but suddenly there was no wind in our sails. A number of safe, old topics came up and subsided - and we sat, “a painted ship upon a painted ocean.”
Back to a sturdy, steadfast companion: thank heaven for a bass to practice in.
 
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#7
Les Paul played Monday nights for years at Fat Tuesday's in NYC. He had a regular group of sidemen that didn't seem to change for quite some time. Then the bass player left and was replaced and things seemed (to me) to chug along without a hiccup. To my ear, the "new guy" was every bit as good as the previous bassist. I also knew him because he worked on occasion with a group I did some tour coordination for. He always presented as an upbeat, together, likable pro who always played great and seemed to be able to fit seamlessly into whatever the situation was.

After years of hiatus, Rickie Lee Jones decided to tour again and this bassist was called for the job. He loved, loved, loved his weekly Les Paul gig and didn't want to lose it. So he talked to Les and they arranged for a sub to cover for him for the duration of the tour. At the end of the tour, he returned to NYC and was told that the sub was working out well, that his services were no longer required.

Subbing out your gig does not always end well.
 
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#8
Sad are the tales of sub promises unkept.
The classic sub story is of course that of Yankee great Lou Gehrig, who subbed for regular Wally Pip - who had been hit on the head in batting practice. Lou proceeded to set a record for consecutive games played in the neighborhood of 2,130 - and Wally was relegated to a mere ‘pip’ in baseball history; he wouldn’t get his mitts on his old gig again.
Moral? Maybe it’s better to play hurt.
 
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#9
Cool story, love baseball history and didn't know that one. The difference, of course, being that when we line up a sub, we're throwing them some work and there is an implied coolness agreement there. Maybe your sub made a mistake or doesn't realized how it was perceived.

But, it hurt his relationship with you and ... That's how we learn things sometimes.
 
#10
Man, you’re so right.
After watching a Netflix doc on the brilliant writer, Joan Didion, I took a shower and found myself in one of her books, lamenting a loss. She managed to write through her grief of losing a husband and a daughter in the same year; my loss of this friend is of course far less ‘terminal,’ but profound in its own way. We might regain some trust over time.
I’m sure I overreacted. I told him it reminded me of when I was asked to recommend a pianist/sub - and the guy proceeded to play the gig but also schmooze up the manager and even the kitchen help, shamelessly hustling for the job going forward. It nearly cost the original pianist her job, and it certainly caused a lot of bad blood.
 
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#11
Keyser Soze said:
Les Paul played Monday nights for years at Fat Tuesday's in NYC. He had a regular group of sidemen that didn't seem to change for quite some time. Then the bass player left and was replaced and things seemed (to me) to chug along without a hiccup. To my ear, the "new guy" was every bit as good as the previous bassist. I also knew him because he worked on occasion with a group I did some tour coordination for. He always presented as an upbeat, together, likable pro who always played great and seemed to be able to fit seamlessly into whatever the situation was.

After years of hiatus, Rickie Lee Jones decided to tour again and this bassist was called for the job. He loved, loved, loved his weekly Les Paul gig and didn't want to lose it. So he talked to Les and they arranged for a sub to cover for him for the duration of the tour. At the end of the tour, he returned to NYC and was told that the sub was working out well, that his services were no longer required.

Subbing out your gig does not always end well.
Click to expand...

I've always tried to get the best player I could find when I needed to sub (usually for a night or two) out a gig. If they did a great job and the leader was happy, cool; if they were weasels and tried to steal the gig, cool as well-lesson learned and a name deleted from the list. That said, you can only leave for so long before the leader gets used to the sub.
 
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#12
Points well taken, everyone - even the critical ones.

I also try to call the best sub I can think of, and everyone is happy.
Luckily, living in Southern California, there used to be a who's-who of bass players to call -
cats like Monty Budwig, Al McKibbon, Herb Mickman - and later, Christoff Luty and Darek Oles.

I will say, in my 'lame' defense, that I found it curious that my sub didn't defend OR apologize for the CD proffering. It would have helped me see things his way had he asserted that it was just an everyday, probably-to-no-avail gesture; but his avoidance of that topic 'spoke' volumes.

May I sneak in an off-topic dilemma?
Next month, virus-permitting, I'm playing an out-of-town, three-day jazz party, bringing my own bass.
It had belonged to a dear friend - someone who played this same event over the last 8 - 10 years as we alternated sets with a third bass player. My late friend used to share that bass with the third bassist; I'd offered to share mine, but his was preferred.
The event's producers asked my advice about renting a bass for the other two players next month, and I made a few suggestions (e.g., 3/4, jazz set-up, a pick-up). They found a bass to rent, but I haven't seen it.

When the festival opens, both the rental bass and mine own will be on or near the bandstand. I'd really prefer not to share my bass - feeling a kinship through it with its late owner, and hoping the other players will find the rental instrument satisfactory. I've had some disappointments with basses provided on cruise ships, but you dances with the partner they give you.

I realize probably most of you feel no hesitation to share your instrument with other (especially professional) players.
Years ago I gladly let Andy Simpkins play my funky Pfretzschner as we traded sets on a jazz cruise; what a treat to hear it played well.
In the upcoming situation, I can't defend my reluctance rationally; it's just a feeling-thing.
 
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