I stated elsewhere, that my only real experience with this was with an '87 Rick 330 guitar that I bought a few years ago. I got it with stainless Rotos on it; and yes, the frets were very worn. In fact, they were pretty much... gone. However, the guitar obviously had been gigged heavily for a long time; and 330 Ricks are infamous for their soft, tiny frets. My mandolin has bigger frets, in fact... So, were the stainless strings the culprit? Hard to say; but they certainly didn't help any. And, after the re-fret (with medium jumbos), it doesn't wear stainless strings any more. But, I don't like stainless strings on
anything, anyway...
On the other hand, my '73 Rick 4001 - which previous owners also gigged pretty hard, for a long time - has frets that are still in pretty good shape. 4001's are supposed to have pretty soft frets - and they're on the smallish side, too; but these don't show that - much. I have no idea what strings previous owners used on it. It had rounds of
some kind when I got it, but I didn't pay any attention to what they were. 5 minutes after the initial function check, they were in the garbage can...
Anyway... yes, as a general rule; all other things being equal, you will see faster wear on nickel silver frets - of any size - with stainless strings than with other kinds of strings. Stainless steel is
hard; nickel silver? Not so much... It won't necessarily be any
faster with smaller frets than with jumbos; but it will be more obvious. And, since there's a lot less fret to dress, small frets will need replacing sooner. Do you have a bass with small frets and stainless strings? If so, I'd say two things; first, keep a close eye on the frets, and have them dressed as soon as they need it. If you catch them before they're too far gone, you can dress them a couple of times; they'll last a lot longer, which is money in your pocket. But, it doesn't take too long before small frets can't be dressed - and a re-fret is more expensive. If you have a bound neck? A
lot more expensive... Second, start saving for the re-fret you
will need - eventually; and seriously consider stainless frets, when you do...