Weird Audition Last Night...

HarveyRobertson

Lowdown Showdown
Apr 3, 2018
458
694
4,831
Benton Kentucky
so I’ve been talking to a guy that claimed to have a blues trio together and his bassist left..

Sent me a setlist and a starting of 10 songs to figure out so when we get together we can have something to play.. ok..

It’s pretty basic texas blues stuff like SRV, and other blues like Jimmy Hendrix and Almman Bros band...

I do learn all of these note for note.

I get there and he tells me that the drummer is finicky and very opinionated.. so he isn’t there today and probably won’t be there till we get ourselves together..

I tell him well.. you do understand that I along with a drummer forms the backbone of any music.. that regardless how tight me and the guitarist are that ultimately I have to be tight with the drummer.

Oh no he says.. I need to be tight with him the guitarist first.. ok I get it but I want a drummer there..

SoI say, do you have a click track, a drum track or at least blues drum loops.. maybe a drum machine?

He say no.. but we can play along to the CD he has..

So the CD aren’t the real artists but his versions of the songs that were recorded in a studio by a really good engineer.

Ok so he puts a tune on called “big legged woman” and we start playing it...

This guy is messing up his own parts on guitar. Can’t play anywhere near as well as the CD.

I ask what’s the problem?

He then tells me that he is really a bass player.. trying to play guitar. I ask him well who is playing the music on this CD..

He says it’s him and few buddies of his, one being the drummer that did not show up.. the other is the bass player that left the project.

I ask.. “how long has it been since you played these songs”?

He replies “I play them daily”.

Ok....

I say “if you’re nervous or something let’s chill and talk a lil bit” because you’re not hittin it right and you seem to be struggling.

He says well “I’ve played bass for 17 years and am a new guitarist with about a year of guitar experience “

I say “well sounds like you’re way better on the CD”

He replies that he really messed up a lot on the CD but the recording engineer fixed it by replaying most of his parts for him...

I was like “***”!?!?

I’m still looking for another blues band to say the least.
 
Possibly, this was more an audition for "Misery, the Sequel"...

Harvey: "I'm your number one fan. There's nothing to worry about. You're going to be just fine. I will take good care of you. I'm your number one fan."

[Once Blues Guy knew the cat was out of the disco...]

Harvey: "I thought you were good 'Blues Guy'... but you're not good. You're just another lying ol' dirty birdy."

I'd run for the hills, Blues Guy...
 
Your exchange lasted way longer than mine. Auditioning without THE drummer sucks.

I think I would have just been politely patient for 3 or 4 songs and then played the "not a good fit " card and made my exit. This guy does not have his stuff together.
 
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Wait a minute, I just had a session with this guy too.
We never laid down note one, nothing, not one song....just listened to his ambitious talk about how awesome it's all gonna be.
I emailed him a few days later, apologizing for taking up his time and I that I was declining to continue as I had lots of irons in the fire and not enough time to give them all my full attention.
He replied by reading me the riot act and what a useless jerk I was.
I email back and thank him again for his time and wished him the best of fortune. As my old GF used to say, "Give them the gift of shame." .....rather than the the rant of blame.
 
I get there and he tells me that the drummer is finicky and very opinionated.. so he isn’t there today and probably won’t be there till we get ourselves together..

As in, till the guitarist learns how to play...?

Actually, I kinda have to give this guy props, for stretching out and trying to play another instrument from his main one in a band. I play a little guitar and strum along to lead worship in church but wouldn't dare put myself forward as the guitarist for a band at this point. But on the other hand, this is why you give frank disclosure in ads. If you're a rank beginner trying to figure stuff out, say so in your ad, so people who reply understand this is a low-pressure, low-skill jam group and not a gigging pro outfit. Otherwise you get these situations where you look like a jerk.

The bit about the engineer kills me. I've done very little studio recording, but I've seen that. Played a session recording three songs for an "artist" who couldn't play for crap. Engineer politely suggests "maybe it would sound good if we added a second track of guitar" and has his intern play it.... intern proceeds to carry off the tune way better than the "Artist" ever could.
 
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Sometimes you just nod and smile. I had an audition earlier this year - 5 songs:

- one of them had a fairly prominent keyboard line (Renegade), but no keyboardist - BL said they would do it without it.
- rhythm guitarist learned on song in Em, song was in Fm
- I had to show the guitarist the proper line for the intro on another.

And so on. Two hours of my life (including travel) I'll never get back.