Ever feel like you're in a situation nobody in the world has ever been in?

#83
BigDanT said:
I think many of us have found ourselves facing situations that we truly felt were unique to only us. It's my opinion that this is actually true. While it is likely that many people share "similar" experiences, each one of us is an individual with our own unique set of values, perspectives, learned behaviors, etc. so even though others may have faced similar situations, there is little likelihood the circumstances would be exactly the same as yours.

That's why some things (i.e. problems or good fortune) are perceived and acted upon differently by people. For example, some kids in high school get made fun of. For some of them, this is no big deal. They say "oh well" and move on to the rest of their days. To others, the taunts or words or situation might be exactly the same but because of their personal experiences, support system, parental interactions, background and chemical makeup, the "making fun of" could be devastating.

The millions of bits of data and chemistry that go into making us who we are + any situation = unique experience.
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Excellent points. Exactly why you see people who have survived horrible experiences, setbacks, etc. and yet are able to achieve great things and/or get exactly what they want out of life, while others fall into despair, endless hardships, etc. These differences fascinate me, as I have faced (and continue to face) all sorts of struggles myself, and have battle my instincts and learned responses, habits, and so on constantly. I don't often win, but I suppose I win more now that I used to, so thats a start.


BigDanT said:
I don't really care about the perceived intent of your original post, you seem like a good guy who is struggling with a decision and situation. I don't like to see anyone struggling so I hope you can get the advice you are looking for here or somewhere else.

Whatever you are going through, good luck to you.
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Yeah, what he said.
 
#84
Robroy said:
I will be frank: I'm annoyed by the "who has an unspoken" request in my weekly religious meetings because my take is that if you are not going to tell the person praying for you what they are praying for, you are missing the whole point.

I kinda bristled when Joe said he has this issue, yet wouldn't share, and wanted us to talk about ours. Hence my perceiving it as narcissistic. And to be clear, I deal with that word a LOT in my work and activities. We are all narcissistic to one degree or another. It just comes out when we don't realize that we are so steeped in a particular issue that our communication is not, uh, normal. e.g. making unreasonable requests.
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I don't see him as particularly narcissistic....I just see this as a kind of confusing thread.

He has a problem. Normal. Everyone does of some kind or another. But he won't say what it is yet reaches out for help. By asking if others are in a similar situation.

I guess everybody could say " Yes...I have an issue but I'm not saying what it is. Can you help me by posting your similar situation which you won't tell us about?"

Kind of difficult to move forward on something like this...
 
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#85
ZenG said:
I don't see him as particularly narcissistic....I just see this as a kind of confusing thread.

He has a problem. Normal. Everyone does of some kind or another. But he won't say what it is yet reaches out for help. By asking if others are in a similar situation.

I guess everybody could say " Yes...I have an issue but I'm not saying what it is. Can you help me by posting your similar situation which you won't tell us about?"

Kind of difficult to move forward on something like this...
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Yep. You've covered what frustrated me about it. Well, at least after I realized he was serious.
 
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#95
First of all, just an opinion, but everything that we do and everything that does us is unique to us. That said, if you want to fix a lawn mower, you get a book, read up, then do the job. It's mechanical so it's always done the same, but everyone has their own little ways to make it unique to them. It's pretty much the same for us all.

But if you read that mower repair manual and still can't fix it, then you become part of a group who share the inability to fix a mower by following written instructions. It's a sub group but it narrows down the number of people who had a generally shared experience in their attempt to fix a lawn mower. The same thing happens to us all, the more we influence/change things the further we reduce the number of people who share an experience.

If something is bothering me I always do better if I can discuss that particular thing with someone who is either BTDT, or is in it at the moment.

It's gonna be tough to offer anything much without more info, but best of luck with whatever it is.
 
#96
Sorry to hear this Joe. I think you are a good guy and I hope and pray that whatever is going on it works out for you. I would say I also hope you learn from it and it makes you a better man but it usually makes me angry when I am in the middle of some big pile of manure and someones says that to me. Yikes i just said it. :D
 
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#97
Hmm... I've been in a car that got charged by a rhino, but that's probably geographically and economically specific. Pretty unique. But, no, there are too many people for me to be that unique. Still doesn't make a relative problem more or less valid if it's truly causing you a deal of problems.
 
#98
If I could have a do over I'd rewrite that first post... No point or use in takin it back now though :). Maybe it was my mood for that day that had it come out as it did.

Feel like I want to add a few more things.

It's got nothing to do with my wife. We're doing great together. I love her more today than I did yesterday. Honestly, too.

What's going on with me also isn't anything that's going to hurt me in any way. It's just an incredibly frustrating situation. I'm not keeping mum on this to be purposely cryptic, have people try to guess what's going on, or anything like that. Truth is what's going on would seem pretty minor and ridiculous to anyone else. There is though very real danger of the people it involves stumbling across this (it is the internet after all), and I'm far from anonymous here. Would make matters much much worse actually.

Why did I post it? Nothing to do with me thinking I'm "special", or "unique" or "different" in any way other than the ways we all are. Just wanted to see what would come up if I kicked it around with the people here. Some people here I think are awesome. Others not so awesome. It's the internet. Oh hwell...
 
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#99
We all like to think we are unique and special but seeing how there are 7+ billion people on the planet, there is a very high probability others have been in the exact situation as you. And will be in it again in the future.

Sometime in my late 20s/early 30s, I realized I wasn't the one-of-a-kind, misunderstood individual I thought I was in my teens. Life experience and perspective played a big part in this realization.
 
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