I used to own something like 15-16 a couple of years ago, now I only have 9, so I thought I was improving nicely.
However, THAT thread that popped up yesterday made me realise that 9 is far from ideal. I will never be a great if I have 9 basses. It seems I need just 1-3 basses to be great, and only then I will have earned the right to buy other basses. I see the error of my ways now. I feel very bad I deprived serious bass players from their hard-earned and deserved instrument. I apologise unreservedly.
Can someone please point me in the right direction?
1) How many basses should I go for? Is it one, two or three? The mother of all threads did not leave that very clear. I read it all but it got closed before a consensus was reached.
2) Where do I get my accreditation to show I earned the right to buy more basses after that?
3) Is the accreditation recognised internationally? Or does that just apply to one country? If so, do I need to resit exams in every country I want to buy a new bass from or is it just a matter of filling in the right forms and send a fee through Western Union or something?
4) Does colour matter? It appeared to me that there were different rules for
RED basses. But again, I am still confused. I feel I know nothing. That thread was devastating to my self-esteem.
5) Do I get to become great faster if I donate my obviously surplus instruments to a Home for the Deprived Serious Bass Player? Or do I get at least a gold star that I can attach to the back of the headstock of my bass (singular)?
6) What's the
secret handshake for Serious Bass Players Club?
7) Yeah, I know [6]... but I had to ask.
Right... my coffee is finished. I'd better go play some... I've been asked to record a bassline for a CD that will be sold for charity containing a bunch of UK ska and reggae bands, so I'd better get on with that. I'll have to decide carefully what to record with. I don't want to be seen as stealing the place of Serious Bass Players, so I'll probably use my Squier Jazz, as apparently the authorities tolerate Squier instruments at all levels is seen as a sign of humility, which I really need, considering my horrible horrible crimes [*].
[*] and that's before they realise how badly I have modified some of those instruments... like the Squier... it cost me £75 used, in poor condition, but as I am not a great I didn't know it was not worth it, so I put some Area J pickups on it and added a J-Retro preamp... as if spending money would somehow make me better. I now know I was just compensating...
edit: this post is in jest, because of this:
Why have so many basses?
. He (I shall use this pronoun as the antecedent must be masculine) never spelled "colour" correctly. I'm with Geoff Pullum: The book's toxic mix of purism, atavism, and personal eccentricity is not underpinned by a proper grounding in English grammar. It is often so misguided that the authors appear not to notice their own egregious flouting of its own rules ... It's sad. It's a personal thing, but I prefer Jesus' teaching to Jesus's teaching. Probably why Sabbath went for Geezer over me.
"Honey, I know I already have four but this one is Seafoam!"
