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Just wondering...
- Thread starter One_Dude
- Start date
I'm fortunate to be able to say that I've never played with someone so unprofessional and immature. I've had people leave the band and come back in. I've been kicked out of bands where I played with some of the people again, but If someone dissolved the band, cancelled all the gigs and left everyone out in the cold, I not only wouldn't ever play with them again, I would ignore any attempts at communication.
The first time I was kicked out of a band, it was for wanting to play material that would get us booked. In retrospect, it was the best thing that every happened to me. The guitarist quit and we formed a band that hooked up with an agency and we worked it into a full time gig in the 70's. The second time, I was playing guitar and this snake of a bass player brought in one of his friends to replace me. I told the singer and drummer that they'd be next and within 6 months, and sure enough, they were both kicked out too. I wound up playing with them again eventually, but I'll never play with that bass player again. I don't know why he didn't just quit and form a band with the other guitar player. The name of the band was the singer's name, so it's not like they could use that to book gigs.
The first time I was kicked out of a band, it was for wanting to play material that would get us booked. In retrospect, it was the best thing that every happened to me. The guitarist quit and we formed a band that hooked up with an agency and we worked it into a full time gig in the 70's. The second time, I was playing guitar and this snake of a bass player brought in one of his friends to replace me. I told the singer and drummer that they'd be next and within 6 months, and sure enough, they were both kicked out too. I wound up playing with them again eventually, but I'll never play with that bass player again. I don't know why he didn't just quit and form a band with the other guitar player. The name of the band was the singer's name, so it's not like they could use that to book gigs.
The drummer needs to get fired 
Really I am wondering why you are even wondering. No
Really I am wondering why you are even wondering. No
That sounds like the ex GF calling after she realized that you got a great new GF. Hooking up with the ex will ruin what yiu got. Don't ask me how I know.
Never been in that situation, but I don't know that I would trust him.
He dissolved the previous band in a way that hurt your credibility with venue decision makers. I'm guessing the process of earning that back with your current band was not easy. If you let him back in, he can leave you in the lurch again at any time, and all that trust you've built back with the venue decision makers would be lost, unless you could come up with a suitable replacement quickly.
I would not want to give him that chance again.
He dissolved the previous band in a way that hurt your credibility with venue decision makers. I'm guessing the process of earning that back with your current band was not easy. If you let him back in, he can leave you in the lurch again at any time, and all that trust you've built back with the venue decision makers would be lost, unless you could come up with a suitable replacement quickly.
I would not want to give him that chance again.
This is going to sound weird but why don’t you ask him. I am amazed by these types of posts. Sadly they seem to be growing in number.
"If you burn me once, shame on you. If you burn me twice, shame on me."
Tell him it wasn't "fun" to get canned without notice. The world is full of musicians and jerks, too. This is when you get to choose where to draw the line on someone who is both. Without all of the background, it's easy to give advice and every situation is different. Selfishness is always the same, though.
If he made the executive decision to dissolve the band I guess he couldn't stand the possibility of it going on as a success without him. I would talk to him about what he did, how it affected you guys, find out what was going on for him at the time, make it clear it can't happen again, and have a plan in case it does so that the same disruption can't occur again. Or just carry on without him and advertise for a great singer.
If one guy has the power to unilaterally dissolve the band and cancel all the gigs then it must have been his project and everyone else was a sideman. Otherwise I can't imagine why anyone would have allowed that to happen.
It's not his band anymore, and if the guy has so little respect or professionalism that he's willing to screw over a whole group of people based on his whims and fancies then he's absolutely capable of doing it a second time.
I've had guys who treated me bad and later we made up and worked together again. And I've had guys who screwed me over and even years later we nearly came to blows just running into each other on the street.
You invested in this new thing, if you allow a dangerous person to put it at risk that's 100% on you and when it inevitably blows up in your face you'll have no one else to blame.
It's not his band anymore, and if the guy has so little respect or professionalism that he's willing to screw over a whole group of people based on his whims and fancies then he's absolutely capable of doing it a second time.
I've had guys who treated me bad and later we made up and worked together again. And I've had guys who screwed me over and even years later we nearly came to blows just running into each other on the street.
You invested in this new thing, if you allow a dangerous person to put it at risk that's 100% on you and when it inevitably blows up in your face you'll have no one else to blame.
Thanks for all of your responses; I pretty much agree with everything that has been mentioned. We will have a band meeting after our upcoming gig later this week. I suspect it will be short and there will be mostly "no way is he coming back" responses. One of the results of what he did is that we now know we can succeed without him, and I doubt that any of our current members are willing to allow that situation to happen again.
As for finding another lead singer; we probably will not make a serious effort to do that right now. We all sing lead on some songs during a typical set, and I have taken on the largest share of that duty. In the bigger picture, I have gained more confidence in my singing because of the situation. I was already doing about twenty percent of the lead singing in the original group, so I have been able to increase that percentage by careful song selection. I won't be getting any Grammy awards, but I do get compliments on my singing, so I suspect we will just continue with this new arrangement for now. One of the things we have all learned over the years is to "play to each members strength musically", while keeping it as simple as possible. This is pretty much an "oldies" band that plays 50's, 60's, and 70's music across multiple genre's. We have added more country and 70's R&R to our songlist because those are my stronger areas.
With regard to the possibility of playing again with our former BL; in the past, three of us (two of us who are now in the new band) played a few dates that were built around our harmony singing. Our former BL is a baritone, one member sings bass, and I am a tenor. So the harmonies just kind of came together. At the time there was talk of booking more gigs around that format. I would consider doing that with the understanding that it would be strictly a side gig that would not interfere with our new band. And it would go with knowing that the former BL cannot be fully trusted again.
So thank you again for your comments and keep them coming if you like. And I will report back after our band meeting.
Thump on,
One_Dude
As for finding another lead singer; we probably will not make a serious effort to do that right now. We all sing lead on some songs during a typical set, and I have taken on the largest share of that duty. In the bigger picture, I have gained more confidence in my singing because of the situation. I was already doing about twenty percent of the lead singing in the original group, so I have been able to increase that percentage by careful song selection. I won't be getting any Grammy awards, but I do get compliments on my singing, so I suspect we will just continue with this new arrangement for now. One of the things we have all learned over the years is to "play to each members strength musically", while keeping it as simple as possible. This is pretty much an "oldies" band that plays 50's, 60's, and 70's music across multiple genre's. We have added more country and 70's R&R to our songlist because those are my stronger areas.
With regard to the possibility of playing again with our former BL; in the past, three of us (two of us who are now in the new band) played a few dates that were built around our harmony singing. Our former BL is a baritone, one member sings bass, and I am a tenor. So the harmonies just kind of came together. At the time there was talk of booking more gigs around that format. I would consider doing that with the understanding that it would be strictly a side gig that would not interfere with our new band. And it would go with knowing that the former BL cannot be fully trusted again.
So thank you again for your comments and keep them coming if you like. And I will report back after our band meeting.
Thump on,
One_Dude
Be as friendly as you want the guy, but don't go back into business with him. If there is one thing I've learned about human beings from being in bands for 30 years, it's that they rarely ever change their ways. The handful of times I've tried to "make it work" again with musicians that had previously burned me or the band......always ended just blowing up in my face again.
There are plenty of good reasons for leaving a band that any adult will listen to and respect. It sounds like this dude wasn't even willing to give an explanation though.
There are plenty of good reasons for leaving a band that any adult will listen to and respect. It sounds like this dude wasn't even willing to give an explanation though.
If anyone unilaterally ended a successful project on me as abruptly and impersonally as you described, I don’t think I’d ever take their calls again. Don’t lower yourself to argue with him. Be civil. But be resolute. That was a serious abuse of trust and faith and should not be forgotten as though it never happened.
Success is the purest form of revenge.
Time wounds all heels.
Success is the purest form of revenge.
Time wounds all heels.
About 18 years ago I was in a very successful local cover band...and I was the BL (booked the band, owned the PA, lights and transported AND set up all the gear). I was also a full-time public school teacher and going to college for additional educational degrees. I wasn't home a lot due to my busy schedule. My wife was also in the band as the singer/keyboardist.
We had 5 kids and I felt like an "absent" Dad. One of my younger sons (at age 16) asked me "Dad, when are you ever going to be home?". That hit me like a ton of bricks . I called the guys in the band, after talking over with my wife, and told them I was done and would play out the next few gigs (to give them time to get replacements). They weren't happy so, I ended up calling all the venues we were playing and cancelled our remaining gigs for the year. I put my additional college pursuit on hold at the end of that semester and spent more time with my kids... something I would NEVER regret!
Fast forward a year, at my son's request (he knew I missed playing), I got back together with my guitarist and started an acoustic/electric trio and started playing again...on a much lighter schedule (once or twice a month). My kids were happy and I was happy to have a more balanced life.
My point is.....no one knows what happens in each others' personal lives. Maybe your former BL had something going on as well. Maybe he's just being friendly, maybe not, but never burn bridges. Good luck with whatever decision you and your band make!
We had 5 kids and I felt like an "absent" Dad. One of my younger sons (at age 16) asked me "Dad, when are you ever going to be home?". That hit me like a ton of bricks . I called the guys in the band, after talking over with my wife, and told them I was done and would play out the next few gigs (to give them time to get replacements). They weren't happy so, I ended up calling all the venues we were playing and cancelled our remaining gigs for the year. I put my additional college pursuit on hold at the end of that semester and spent more time with my kids... something I would NEVER regret!
Fast forward a year, at my son's request (he knew I missed playing), I got back together with my guitarist and started an acoustic/electric trio and started playing again...on a much lighter schedule (once or twice a month). My kids were happy and I was happy to have a more balanced life.
My point is.....no one knows what happens in each others' personal lives. Maybe your former BL had something going on as well. Maybe he's just being friendly, maybe not, but never burn bridges. Good luck with whatever decision you and your band make!
So yes and taking in concentration people burn out and need to get the itch again. However, he should not come in as the BL and that should be made clear from the start if you are running the show. If you need his strong vocals to take you to the next level and everyone else is on board, If he bails it's not like the band disappears this time around.
He may try to go solo with a new band. That's a rough road though as fans of the original band will dis him for what he did. Then there's the possibility that he may start booking the same venues as before.