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If you replace your tort guard with another, is that a retort? Does it make you retorted?
TortWars...
I've played bass for nearly 27 years, and never knew of the 'tort' as anything specific until i started reading talkbass. The first bass I ever played out with at 13 years old had one of those pick-guards, though..along with one of those awful thumb rests...I borrowed it from my mother's friend in 1989 to do a tom petty song for middle school graduation with some other kids...it just looked kinda 'disco' to me..or like, maybe someone had used it in the 70's to record porno music tracks or something. It was either a copy of some crappy old fender, or maybe an actual crappy old fender..not to be confused with crappy new fenders...but none-the-less, had the same dull, old, flat, thudding sound of any other old beat-down has-been archaic & outdated vintage piece of junk people pay ten thousand dollars for today for whatever reason. I played music in the 90s with a guy who had a '68 Fender Jazz bass...i saw him a couple years ago, and he's still playing that god-awful thing.
I've played bass for nearly 27 years, and never knew of the 'tort' as anything specific until i started reading talkbass. The first bass I ever played out with at 13 years old had one of those pick-guards, though..along with one of those awful thumb rests...I borrowed it from my mother's friend in 1989 to do a tom petty song for middle school graduation with some other kids...it just looked kinda 'disco' to me..or like, maybe someone had used it in the 70's to record porno music tracks or something. It was either a copy of some crappy old fender, or maybe an actual crappy old fender..not to be confused with crappy new fenders...but none-the-less, had the same dull, old, flat, thudding sound of any other old beat-down has-been archaic & outdated vintage piece of junk people pay ten thousand dollars for today for whatever reason. I played music in the 90s with a guy who had a '68 Fender Jazz bass...i saw him a couple years ago, and he's still playing that god-awful thing.
I don't hate it. I just despise the term as a substitution for tortoise-shell, or even just tortoise. Not to mention my intense hatred for saying "Ibby".
I'm not into it. particularly with sunburst basses because that combo has been done to death. I don't know. I guess to some folks tort and sunburst is classic. To me it's so overdone it's become generic. Anyone else feel that way? To me it's like buying a white car. Doesn't look cool IMO. Looks like a work vehicle.
- Oct 13, 2009
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Don't hate the hater, hate the tort. But I don't want to be in this club, I hate clubs too. And cats. Especially calico cats, since it's kinda like cat tort .
I had a Pop-tort just this morning.
It was nasty.
It was nasty.
Will the Royal Order have a PraeTORTian Guard?
We of the Order of the Tort. Being in the Christmas Spirit. Would like to present to the "haters", their very own coat of arms.
- Jun 2, 2012
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I wonder if the majority of players who dislike tortoise shell PG's are our younger brethren?
Gaolee
Official leathers tester and crash dummy
That is a hare. Hares eat carrots. Tort isn't a hare or a carrot. HRH is one of the Royal Order of TH. (Tort Haters) We have a better acronym - ROTH. We are the ROTH. Resist and feel the Wrath of the ROTH!
Tort is what happens when you trip while carrying a bucket of stuff you just cleaned out of blocked plumbing. It's the recycled goo from a thousand used sticks of bubble gum. It's the kind of thing you use to lower the value of a neighborhood. It causes global warming and psoriasis. It should be avoided and contained in a high security biological isolation unit.
I didn't think about "ibby" much until I read this post, noticed how dumb it sounded, and then changed my sig back to using the word 'ibanez'.
I'm not a fan of tort either, though, which is why I came in. I would like it better if it was more swirly like that Queen Anne cameo, and less deckled/speckled/vomitous like modern tort guards are.