Where & how do you find "others" to play with?

#21
As an adjunct to my earlier post:

My mom lived in retirement in Central Florida for 20+ years. For 15 of those years, it never crossed my mind to take an instrument down there and look for playing opportunities when I visited. As time went on, my visits became more frequent, so I started taking a bass, if for no other reason than to amuse myself when there was down time.

I started looking up open mics, blues jams, and live music events in the area, meeting people, and taking names and numbers. Within in a short time I had a good list of people and players who could tell me where things were going on whenever I visited.

Once I even got an anguished call from a bandleader who needed a bass player for a gig, in the hope I might be in town. Unfortunately, that time, I was home, 900 miles away. But I was happy to be asked.

My mom doesn’t live there anymore, but I still have plenty of music buds who can help me find the action.

I only wish I had started looking around sooner.
 
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#24
Found my first band, at age 13, via the bulletin board at the local mom n pop guitar shop. In school it was simpler; just play with the players. More recently I've had some luck with Bandmix, and more luck with Craig's. Guitarist friend and I have a 'singcubator' project, where we work with a singer looking to graduate from the shower or karaoke to open mics with a little backing, which has evolved into a full R.E.M. cover band. Never know where you'll find players.
 
#25
CompleteHack said:
This sounds a lot like a less-fun version of dating.
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:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:

Yes, finding a band is similar to dating to a disturbing degree -- and being in a band is (disturbingly) similar to marriage -- but without the sex.

Seriously, though, I promise that if you can find a good group of like-minded group of musicians, playing with others is infinitely more fun than practicing alone or playing along to recordings -- and your playing will improve much, much faster.
 
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#27
It really depends on your area. From 2008 to probably 2018 I always had good luck on Craigslist, but I think social media kind of killed that. There are still some posts on there, but not as many as their used to be.

Back in 2021 I quit the band I'd been with since 2016, found them via Craigslist. I was not in a hurry to get back into another project, I wanted to find the right people. It took about two years, but I eventually found my current band through a local Facebook group. They posted an ad and I responded, auditioned, and got the offer to join. Everything has been great with them.

During that two years I kept an eye on Craigslist and BandMix. I did play with a group from BandMix for about a month during that time, but that fell apart. I thought BandMix was a bit of a waste of time. Too many dead profiles on there. People sign up and then quit using it. And, to get all the features you have to pay for a membership. Social media is probably where I spent most of my effort. I'd look up the acoustic duo's playing at local venues and reach out to them. But mostly, I kept an eye on the musician groups and eventually that paid off.

Going to an open mic is the classic. You don't have to play, but just to meet local musicians.
 
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#28
You have to play with others asap, imv as this is a great accelerator for learning.
Its help.if you all started at school...as then we all started from the same place..but you can do the same at open mics and jams where plenty of people are 'tolerant'...
You might find a very experienced player willing to put a lot of time in.. but you could also see if gtr classes accept a bass player. its all about meeting as many as you can.
Also, go to gigs. Get known by other players.
 
#29
. . . . never thought about it, they just seem to find me.

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All those light years and advanced technology, but they they want to BORROW amps. Sheesh !
 
#30
If there’s a School of Rock anywhere near you, they have adult programs. You can play there with musicians who have quite a wide range of proficiency. Often, a few folks in those programs, the more committed ones, will break out on their own to form a band.
 
#31
CompleteHack said:
After many years not playing, I'm teaching myself BG again at home.

One of the lesson sets I'm working through, studybass.com, insists you have to "play with others" as part of learning.

OK fine. I don't think I'm anywhere near ready to do anything but piss people off with lack of ability, but fine.

But how?

Where do you find people to play with?

No one I already know plays an instrument. I've asked. Got a couple of "used to"'s, at best.

I've looked for "bassist wanted" ads on local Craigslist, but they are minimal. Those few want a serious, commercial-grade bassist, for either part- or full-time commercial work, oriented toward a specific genre (or covering a specific band). I already have a full-time job. I have no delusions of making money playing, nor am I interested in traveling for "gigs." More like, an hour or two on the weekend, to see where it goes, with no one expecting me to already have a bunch of songs memorized, or be able to play based strictly on a chord progression (sorry, not there yet, jazz is way too hard).

Is there a regional "want ads" somewhere here on this forum, or some other place I can find folks interested? If so, I haven't found anything like that, so far.
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What's your goal? Are you simply trying to improve your skills on bass? Are you wanting to be in a band? Maybe both?

It's true that playing music with other people is the only way to gain certain skills, but those may be skills that you have no interest in developing. If not, no sweat. By all means, just enjoy it by yourself.

If you DO have a goal of developing those skills, my advice would be as follows.
  • Don't be afraid to join groups where everyone is better than you. You'll get better REALLY fast that way as long as there's a reasonable ability gap, and you can make that gap up relatively quickly.
  • At your juncture, find people that you like or align with personally, and don't worry as much about the musical style. Being in a band is like 80% about people/relationships and 20% about music. This ratio changes as you get closer to pro level.
  • Start by looking within your existing friend / family network. 95% of my musical opportunities have come from existing connections. The one time I went through a CL ad, the band was good, but the people weren't a good fit for me. I was glad when that group ceased playing.
  • Opportunities beget opportunities. Once you get in a group, you'll make lots of connections over time. Work on those, maintain them, and jump at the next ones that come up. Your network will grow, and you'll enjoy gigs for eternity.
 
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#32
I am going to try the meatspace approach first.

Online is too full of weirdos, bots, people trying to sell you something, and/or scammers (big overlap with the "selling something" bunch).

We do have a "Jazz Workshop" organization here that supposedly hosts jam sessions on Saturdays. I have no business trying to "sit in" on bass, but maybe it could be a starting point. I don't have a Real Book any more, and I won't bother bringing my bass, I'll only be there to talk/network. And see if it's actually a going thing.
 
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#34
Eric Mull said:
I found my band mates on a site called Bandmix. You could give that a shot. I also see a lot of people pretty active in local Facebook groups in my area, I would check those out as well for your area.

bandmix.com
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I was trying to remember that site! I have had more success gigging with CL ads but I have met more quality musicians and nice people through band mix.
 
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#37
I gave up and created a bandmix account.

If you want to hear a (very old) example of me playing bass, check out my bandmix profile. I don't know whether linking here is cool, but you can find me by my username: GP1872635 (positively rolls off the tongue, it does).
 
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