Band Drama The Other Night - Help

#41
tshapiro said:
If someone jets out early, that’s a signal to me they need to be replaced. While they may or may not end up quitting anyway, the jet out is a way to put the BL in handcuffs and that’s a losing operating model. From my experience, placing a FB add, “Working band holding auditions this Saturday 9am - 4pm. If you think you’re a good fit contact us to schedule your time”, will result in your inbox getting flooded.
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Someone jetted out early? Last note had been played. Who jetted out early?
Lowbassman said:
Not a baseball fan, used to like the Cubs, so there's that.

Now..my question is...

WHO got the pay designated for "Mr. Stormed off the stage"??

Was it withheld?? Forfeited? Given to Charity??
My suggestion: Split it among those who stayed and buy lottery tickets. You never know.
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Guessing the BL will get it to him either next gig if he's still in the band, or some other way if not.

Really, it's NMFB unless the BL decides it is.

In the meantime,

I

D o n ' t

C a r e
 
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#42
Pocket Dave said:
Someone jetted out early? Last note had been played. Who jetted out early?


Guessing the BL will get it to him either next gig if he's still in the band, or some other way if not.

Really, it's NMFB unless the BL decides it is.

In the meantime,

I

D o n ' t

C a r e
Click to expand...
@Pocket Dave I understood the ‘left before collecting pay’ remark to mean he left earlier than the rest of the band as a statement to the BL.
 
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#43
Pocket Dave said:
Someone jetted out early? Last note had been played. Who jetted out early?


Guessing the BL will get it to him either next gig if he's still in the band, or some other way if not.

Really, it's NMFB unless the BL decides it is.

In the meantime,

I

D o n ' t

C a r e
Click to expand...
You cared enough to post, so there's that.
Just sayin'..... :roflmao:
 
#44
Oh yeah, I wanted to add...
You reminded me, I had a gig once, looong time ago, where the Sax player PUNCHED!! the drummer before he bailed, something about his solo went over the time allotted, etc. They might have had some unresolved issues from the past too I guess.

Now THAT was a trip. The audience thought it was part of the act; it was not!

BTW- I was not the BL, but I do know the sax-man did get his pay!!! (he wasn't asked to come back next weekend though!) :roflmao:
 
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#45
Pocket Dave said:
So this happened the other night - a band member left abruptly after final note without collecting his pay. This happened after the BL tried to get his attention to cut his solo short during the final number and couldn't, so he just signaled the drummer and I to go to the break.

Did the band member quit? Will he be there next Fri/Sat or will the BL be texting asking for sub recommendations?

Well... Here's what *I* did in response to it all.

Nothing.

Yep. I went home to bed, got up, did some chores, ate some lunch, will prolly watch game 3 of the Rays/Rangers series.

As you can tell, I'm deeply disturbed. Does anyone have any useful recommendations I can ignore?

'Cause if the Rangers don't sweep the Rays and make some significant progress in eliminating their 7 game deficit in the AL west race before the all star break, they may have a rough road ahead for the season's second half.
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I'm most interested in the BL's thought process / people skills.

From the audience perspective, which was the bigger musical train wreck : allowing the guitarist to play the entire solo, or wrong footing the guitarist by throwing in an unexpected change?

Which causes the most problems for the band : the final song having an overlong (and possibly a bit ropey - you didn't elaborate as to why the BL cut it short) guitar solo, or the guitarist feeling like they've been thrown under the bus, and publicly embarrassed, before flouncing off in a strop, and the whole thing creating a lot of unnecessary band drama?
 
#46
tshapiro said:
@Pocket Dave I understood the ‘left before collecting pay’ remark to mean he left earlier than the rest of the band as a statement to the BL.
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Got it. Yeah. That's pretty much what happened. Either way, NMFB. 'Guess I'll find out next page of the saga Friday night, if there even is a saga.

I love playing in a band where all I have to do is suit up, show up and shut up. 'Put in my time being both BL and in autonomous-collective bands; These days I work too damn hard on having some peace of mind to give it away so freely.
 
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#47
Lowbassman said:
You cared enough to post, so there's that.
Just sayin'..... :roflmao:
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True that. I care that it makes for an entertaining topic and great eye-roll all around, plus an opportunity for all to make snarky comments, yours and my posts for example. 😎

Another intent of this thread is to balance out the band management threads that seem malignantly attached to the drama for which they profess disdain.

Yeah. I know. I should have my band management membership card revoked.
 
#48
Let me add, w/out any agenda OR snark, that IMO when performing music with others becomes problematic and/or stupid, and any kind of drama overtakes the pleasure of being an (essential; driving) part of the rhythm section-
Something is not right.
No, I don't live in la-la land, and I've had more than my share of less-than pleasant gig experiences with less than pleasant personalities, just to make the dough at the end of the night but still-

I would either choose to shut it out, and/or not return to play in a situation like that.
Fortunately now, I don't have to scrounge for gigs or take on anything with anybody that doesn't satisfy my musical goals or doesn't please me.

I'm a R&B/Funk/Soul/Jazz bassist who has done more than his share of gigs with cover bands, top-40, wedding stuff, Cowboy and Biker bars; almost everything but Heavy Doom Metal (even some of that in the long ago past).

See..I DO CARE about what's up with the music, my fellow musicians, and who & where I perform with (or don;t). I've earned that.
 
#49
Well, you know, it could be that the guitar player really had to get out of there immediately, and the leader signaling " cut the solo short, we need to finish" just reminded him "oh poop, I gotta get on the road" and that was all it was...

You know, it could have just been adult things.
 
#50
Wood and Wire said:
I'm most interested in the BL's thought process / people skills.

From the audience perspective, which was the bigger musical train wreck : allowing the guitarist to play the entire solo, or wrong footing the guitarist by throwing in an unexpected change?

Which causes the most problems for the band : the final song having an overlong (and possibly a bit ropey - you didn't elaborate as to why the BL cut it short) guitar solo, or the guitarist feeling like they've been thrown under the bus, and publicly embarrassed, before flouncing off in a strop, and the whole thing creating a lot of unnecessary band drama?
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Since you're the second person to ask, I'll give ya this.

Gig was for an outdoor event with other activities scheduled. Event organizer, the customer paying for the band, gave the wrap signal to the BL, who tried to communicate to the soloist to cut the solo so we could move the song along and end it. Nada. BL then chose to signal the rhythm section to go to the break; We did. Crowd probably didn't notice a thing.

Though really? We're not backing Elton John at Madison Square Garden. We play near 100 of these local gigs a year; Some go great, though when missteps happen, everyone has two choices:

1. Either shaking it off and being ready for the next gig where we apply what we learned from the last one,
2. or taking ourselves so damn seriously that we can't.

As I mentioned earlier in the thread, Sometimes s*** happens & not everything is personal.
 
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#51
Pocket Dave said:
So this happened the other night - a band member left abruptly after final note without collecting his pay. This happened after the BL tried to get his attention to cut his solo short during the final number and couldn't, so he just signaled the drummer and I to go to the break.

Did the band member quit? Will he be there next Fri/Sat or will the BL be texting asking for sub recommendations?

Well... Here's what *I* did in response to it all.

Nothing.

Yep. I went home to bed, got up, did some chores, ate some lunch, will prolly watch game 3 of the Rays/Rangers series.

As you can tell, I'm deeply disturbed. Does anyone have any useful recommendations I can ignore?

'Cause if the Rangers don't sweep the Rays and make some significant progress in eliminating their 7 game deficit in the AL west race before the all star break, they may have a rough road ahead for the season's second half.
Click to expand...
I think you're over-reacting. Wait just hear me out!

The Mariners have the lowest batting average in the AL, maybe MLB. Do you really think they can hold onto 1st place for the 2nd 1/2 of the season? Based on our GM, we should be dumping salary at the trade deadline to acquire some AA utility infield prospects. Sleep well.

Oh, and not cool what that guy did. I'd let the BL and him work it out.
 
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#52
Lowbassman said:
Let me add, w/out any agenda OR snark, that IMO when performing music with others becomes problematic and/or stupid, and any kind of drama overtakes the pleasure of being an (essential; driving) part of the rhythm section-
Something is not right.
No, I don't live in la-la land, and I've had more than my share of less-than pleasant gig experiences with less than pleasant personalities, just to make the dough at the end of the night but still-

I would either choose to shut it out, and/or not return to play in a situation like that.
Fortunately now, I don't have to scrounge for gigs or take on anything with anybody that doesn't satisfy my musical goals or doesn't please me.

I'm a R&B/Funk/Soul/Jazz bassist who has done more than his share of gigs with cover bands, top-40, wedding stuff, Cowboy and Biker bars; almost everything but Heavy Doom Metal (even some of that in the long ago past).

See..I DO CARE about what's up with the music, my fellow musicians, and who & where I perform with (or don;t). I've earned that.
Click to expand...

Gotcha. TBH, when I said I don't care, what I meant was none of this crap gets free rent in my head.

I'm cool with whatever happens next. Otherwise, just enjoying the ride.
 
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#55
Pocket Dave said:
So this happened the other night - a band member left abruptly after final note without collecting his pay. This happened after the BL tried to get his attention to cut his solo short during the final number and couldn't, so he just signaled the drummer and I to go to the break.

Did the band member quit? Will he be there next Fri/Sat or will the BL be texting asking for sub recommendations?

Well... Here's what *I* did in response to it all.

Nothing.

Yep. I went home to bed, got up, did some chores, ate some lunch, will prolly watch game 3 of the Rays/Rangers series.

As you can tell, I'm deeply disturbed. Does anyone have any useful recommendations I can ignore?

'Cause if the Rangers don't sweep the Rays and make some significant progress in eliminating their 7 game deficit in the AL west race before the all star break, they may have a rough road ahead for the season's second half.
Click to expand...
I think you handled it well.

I've played places where the management wants you to quit exactly on time. Maybe that was the case?
 
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#57
It must be catching. I've gone cool on a regular band...not booking anymore gigs and we are in wind down, only I haven't said anything other than 'its just not fun'.
No blame, although one guy is particularly moody but the band is dead in the water.
In my opinion, you need to put this out of its misery asap.

I have 2 new outfits, which are consuming time, but I'm up for that. I just don't want..or see the point...of stringing out the outgoing band, so I'll try and off the remaining dates.

Dead is dead to me.
 
#59
Good Move. Just focus on your business. One time I pissed off my old guitarist because I wasn't available (at practice with my other more for passion/fun than business band) and he was trying to book a gig. Mid song in the middle of running the set I missed like 5 calls in rapid succession. Very embarrassing but I was close with all my bandmates and they knew my guitarist and his tendencies. We stopped and I answered the 6th call and before he could say anything I said "Look man, I'm at practice. I'm not answering for a reason. I swear to god if you call me again I will quit the band without a second thought and think nothing of it."

"Are you being freakin serious right now?"

"Deadly" *click*

Where this ties in is we had a few gigs on the books, and even booked the one he was trying to get confirmation for. We played a few gigs not talking to eachother. Had been in the band for a good few years prior and so the stage show went on without people really getting any idea things weren't cool, but basically not a word off stage and he'd just clear out and leave. Meh, these things happen. They'll get over it or they won't. Situation will resolve itself usually.
 
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#60
Low End Scum said:
Good Move. Just focus on your business. One time I pissed off my old guitarist because I wasn't available (at practice with my other more for passion/fun than business band) and he was trying to book a gig. Mid song in the middle of running the set I missed like 5 calls in rapid succession. Very embarrassing but I was close with all my bandmates and they knew my guitarist and his tendencies. We stopped and I answered the 6th call and before he could say anything I said "Look man, I'm at practice. I'm not answering for a reason. I swear to god if you call me again I will quit the band without a second thought and think nothing of it."

"Are you being freakin serious right now?"

"Deadly" *click*

Where this ties in is we had a few gigs on the books, and even booked the one he was trying to get confirmation for. We played a few gigs not talking to eachother. Had been in the band for a good few years prior and so the stage show went on without people really getting any idea things weren't cool, but basically not a word off stage and he'd just clear out and leave. Meh, these things happen. They'll get over it or they won't. Situation will resolve itself usually.
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Yep. Pretty much.

In the past I would've done the same thing, picking up after multiple incessant calls in succession, "There's a reason I'm not picking up" <click>.

These days, I just turn off the ring notification and let the tortured soul go to town. I'll call him back later. "Oh man, my phone was in my gig bag during practice" or some such.

Yeah. Maybe a bit passive aggressive, but there's no rule that says I have to attend every argument invitation I receive. Nor is there a rule that says I have to participate in someone else's freak out.
 
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