BL moved the goalposts!#$&!

[Pocket Dave]

On the basis of the above update, I tend to ask what the gig is before I accept it, new venue is ok, but I'll check it out before hand, for space and ideally dont want to be the first band in and also that the rosta is condusive to our offering, in terms of level, material and size etc.

I dont tend to have to ask much more as everyone knows what the deal is and if anyone, band, or venue, step outside of that, word goes round quickly...either between bands or venues so either could get tagged poorly...and conversley, if you do really well, that travels too.

I want the minimum of surprises...who doesn't...so don't work with people who dont get the whole picture.

If a BL leader is flakey to the above degree, noone works with them.

I dunno. I'm not taking personal time, gas and bandwidth to go check out a new venue; I'd rather trust the BL to do his job and handle the particulars. If he can't do that, maybe I'm in the wrong band.

Like the OP, I too am an addict in recovery; Trying to work outside of my own lane, trying to control things that aren't in my job description, general control freakdom, is a common character flaw in us addicts/alcoholics. Personally, it's a flaw that takes me off the beam and away from peace of mind, something I work too hard for these days to give away so easily.

And what's the worst case if I just show up and the new venue turns out to be a terrible fit? Paid rehearsal? - Because I'm going to get paid if I haul and setup my rig someplace. I can live with that. There'll be other gigs soon if the band is really working.

And surprises? Part of life. I can usually adapt with less effort than trying to cover every bass in advance, most of which aren't likely to come into play.

Like I mentioned, just pay me.

 

[pepj]

I'm a bit bemused why you would even ask the question like that. The onus is on the venue to inform the band of any issues and if you have a contract, of course, its on.
And agree on cancellations.
I'm thinking 2 a year is way too many...how many have you had cancelled in 2024?

 

[pepj]

And no, I'm done with places that are unsuitable for bands, don't have regular music patrons and generally dont make the music nights work.
Fortunately there are enough gigs to cherry pick to not have to travel 1hr max each way.
And if a band is a poor draw then that is the axe too.

 

[4StringDave]

OP update:
Drummer and I have been working together to get BL onboard to take breaks.
BL is genuinely clueless, in a string of group SMS I was brutally clear that "It is completely unprofessional to spend 4 hours onstage! Industry standard is take breaks to avoid
1) musician fatigue
2) audience fatigue
I cannot reiterate how unprofessional it is to do this"
Drummer- "I concur".
Last night we took a 10 minute break. BL looked like he was gonna have a stroke lol.

I'm at a strange place with everything!
Gig was typical last night, microbrewery with lots of 30 something's spending too much money on IPAs and ignoring the band.

I'll be 58 in July. I've inherited osteoarthritis from my mom, 3 hours on stage is pretty painful.
I'm considering a 26 lb combo amp from Markbass which might make it possible for me to gig another 3 to 5 years, after which I'll need to sit down to gig.
I kinda need the money I'm making but if it wasn't for the money I'd retire now.

Buy the Markbass, the weight is a revelation. Also, if you need to sit, then sit. Your health is more important than "Street cred"

 

[Lance Bunyon]

Update: the show last night went extremely well. Venue was way out in the country, lots of people who fit the cliche of a farming town. No dancing but that's okay. I have this strange theory that my band leader may have lied about the possible cancellation. He married a mentally ill woman with special needs children about a month ago. They've been going out for a year or two. She's in a massive custody battle with her violent ex-husband, and I think it's possible that the story about the venue owner possibly canceling due to the tropical storm was a bookmark in case he absolutely had to cancel the show.


The good news for him is that he has a prenup, and he could get the marriage annulled in short order. Bandleader and the drummer are both 5 years sober, drummer hasn't been to a 12-step meeting in over a year. I worry for both of them. I had my stretches of being a dry drunk and they weren't pretty and they saw some of them. I can't control somebody else's life. I think I'm going to be more like the drummer from now on, and just ignore all this stupid drama that the band leader creates with his wreckage and his dependapotamus wife

 

[Hurricane Jimmie]

1) musician fatigue
2) audience fatigue

So Anyway, I feel that when the band doesn't take a break after an hour, things start getting out of whack. Musician Fatigue!
Sounds like your BL has some approval issues, constantly seeking it from the audience.

I played with a couple of BLs who thought playing an extra set for drinks/tips was a great deal. I didn't last long.

Good Luck with establishing your boundaries.

 

[Pocket Dave]

Update: the show last night went extremely well. Venue was way out in the country, lots of people who fit the cliche of a farming town. No dancing but that's okay. I have this strange theory that my band leader may have lied about the possible cancellation. He married a mentally ill woman with special needs children about a month ago. They've been going out for a year or two. She's in a massive custody battle with her violent ex-husband, and I think it's possible that the story about the venue owner possibly canceling due to the tropical storm was a bookmark in case he absolutely had to cancel the show.


The good news for him is that he has a prenup, and he could get the marriage annulled in short order. Bandleader and the drummer are both 5 years sober, drummer hasn't been to a 12-step meeting in over a year. I worry for both of them. I had my stretches of being a dry drunk and they weren't pretty and they saw some of them. I can't control somebody else's life. I think I'm going to be more like the drummer from now on, and just ignore all this stupid drama that the band leader creates with his wreckage and his dependapotamus wife

Great idea. I look at some of the craziness around and just try to stay in my lane/hula-hoop/keep my side of the street clean.

I can't control others, full stop.

 

[Lance Bunyon]

Last night's show went swimmingly well. The "upstate" NC circuit may be our new haven! There's all these little towns that scatter around giant Lake Norman. Older crowd, not the jaded cell phone gazers we are used to seeing in Charlotte.