How about one of these?
http://www.presonus.com/products/Detail.aspx?ProductId=19
Odd shape that obviously won't fit in a rack, but you get 3 bands, and the bandwidth goes down to .1.
Hmm - I could probably sell the 32 band graphic for not much less than this would cost me......
You'll probably notice as soon as you plug it in and start turning knobs: the higher the Q, the narrower the bandwidth and vice versa. So a Q of 0.1 is actually a very broad bell shape. For proper notching you need the highest possible Q values (less frequencies are affected)
Here are a few things I find very useful:
Elevate the cabinet (possibly a small one) all the way to ear level and stand not too far but not too close either. Somehow I find it easier to hear the pitch if the sound can develop in the air a bit.
Only monitor what you need to hear for getting the pitch right. No need to hear sizzling top and warm bottom. Make it ugly but brutally clear. You'll get the warmth from the PA, more than enough usually...
This will drastically reduce the volume on stage.
When using a mix of pickup and microphone, goes without saying that no mic should be monitored on stage, only pickup.
Also reducing the sound sources to a minimum helps "localizing" the sound and avoiding weird phase issues: if you play through an amp, no bass in the wedges, possibly not in your neighbor's either!
When using a Realist, placing is essential! 100% contact between bridge foot and bass' top is a must. You can get quite a lot of sound from it if placed correctly. Not as loud as other pickups, but enough to fill big concert halls.
Ciao
b.