You’re overthinking things.
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I was going to glibly say "yeah, you're overthinking it" just based on the length of your post, without reading it. But I did read it. Regardless of your talent or skill level, regardless of the past contributions you may have made, it appears you really just want to jam and not do the heavy lifting - practice and rehearsal. And it may well be that as a band they've evolved in a different direction than you want to go. In fact, you stated that was an issue from jump. You want to play Lou Reed, Dead, stuff like that. They didn't. Find like-minded people. And practice the tunes. And rehearse the tunes. And commit. I've played with a lot of folks and while we have often gone our separate ways and sometimes reconnected again musically we are by and large still friends but no longer bandmates. It's OK. So, yes, you're overthinking it.
The Bar Band Bassman
The Bar Band Bassman
I stopped reading after Op said " I'll try to make this brief" and I noticed maybe a Dozen paragraphs after that statement
I am not a soap opera fan
I am not a soap opera fan
Sounds like they have a stage full of musicians, including bass...
and you don't know the material, just want to jam on top of it for fun.
Not trying to offend, but I can't imagine why you think you should be there.
Yeah this is where i got lost. Sounds like there are already potentially multiple people playing bass in this group, lol.
Sounds like you have some hurt feelings. You connected some musicians and they have a thing going. That’s great. You had stuff to take care of that I was assume important or at least a priority at the time. That’s great too. I don’t think they owe you anything or at least I would not feel like they owe me anything. If you enjoy bass keep at it. Sounds like you still get to jam with them. Sounds like they have alot of musicians. Maybe something might branch out from there. Good luck.
I got fired from my first job that way. I showed up one day and there was someone already there doing my job! It took a minute to put 2 and 2 together, but when it finally hit me I just walked out quietly and never looked back.
In your situation, it's time for a talk with the other band leaders. Say, "hey I thought I was going to be the bass player but then I showed up one day and someone else is playing bass. Do you still want me involved, or should I go join another band?"
In your situation, it's time for a talk with the other band leaders. Say, "hey I thought I was going to be the bass player but then I showed up one day and someone else is playing bass. Do you still want me involved, or should I go join another band?"
Have you actually discussed all this with the rest of the band?
I can see how they might've thought you just weren't into preparing for gigs, and while you say you could easily drop in and play, maybe that's not what they wanted, rather preferring a properly-rehearsed set-list with no surprises to throw people.
I can see how they might've thought you just weren't into preparing for gigs, and while you say you could easily drop in and play, maybe that's not what they wanted, rather preferring a properly-rehearsed set-list with no surprises to throw people.
Life is too short for drama. Forget what other ppl think, this is out of your control and will not change you one iotta. This goes both ways, so don't bother about what they think about what are you thinking.
Just to do your best at all times and move on, put a Craiglist ad to find ppl with similar vibes and have a new band. This is probably the best thing that happened to you, but you will realize this in a few years.
PS: Practice, practice and keep on practicing, to the point that if you run into these mates they'd say: "Shoot, we should had kept him in the band".
Just to do your best at all times and move on, put a Craiglist ad to find ppl with similar vibes and have a new band. This is probably the best thing that happened to you, but you will realize this in a few years.
PS: Practice, practice and keep on practicing, to the point that if you run into these mates they'd say: "Shoot, we should had kept him in the band".
Sounds like you don’t know that you are not the bass player for this band.
Sounds like you "Pete Bested" yourself out of this group. If I'm reading it right, you lately haven't done much beyond show up when you feel like it and try to follow along with what everyone else is doing.
I promise you that the others notice who does and doesn't participate and to what level, and since you haven't been around all that much and don't learn the material they have no reason to take you seriously as a band member. You are like a fly who flits around and does whatever it feels like doing when it wants to, and they're trying to be more organized than this so you being a fly is turning into a bit of a nuisance. They're now swatting you away but no one has had the courtesy to explain this to you.
It's maybe nobody's fault that the group may have morphed from something very casual when you started to something more organized now, but you haven't shown interest in being organized, so this is not surprising.
I think it's time for you to find a new group of players who want to just jam the way you do. Were I in your shoes I'd just bow out gracefully while accepting the reality that things changed quite a lot while I was not around to notice.
I promise you that the others notice who does and doesn't participate and to what level, and since you haven't been around all that much and don't learn the material they have no reason to take you seriously as a band member. You are like a fly who flits around and does whatever it feels like doing when it wants to, and they're trying to be more organized than this so you being a fly is turning into a bit of a nuisance. They're now swatting you away but no one has had the courtesy to explain this to you.
It's maybe nobody's fault that the group may have morphed from something very casual when you started to something more organized now, but you haven't shown interest in being organized, so this is not surprising.
I think it's time for you to find a new group of players who want to just jam the way you do. Were I in your shoes I'd just bow out gracefully while accepting the reality that things changed quite a lot while I was not around to notice.
There is playing together as friends to play a little music. Then there is playing together to play out and gig.
I think your situation has moved on to phase II.
Why would they let you play live when you don't know the material?
I didn't read the post (sorry), but you asked for someone to tell you that you are overthinking. And as someone who is very much used to overthinking everything, I can confidently tell you, you're overthinking this.
Man, I've been in a few bands where there was one person who was really only half-in. It sounds like you understand that that person is you in this instance.
It is unfair to the players who are rehearsing regularly, putting in the work to learn the songs and trying to move forward together for the half-in person to continue to stake a claim to the group as if they should be able to float in and out at will. You would do well to find a group of players who want to play, but don't have the time to do anything more than a casual jam when time permits.
Sometimes, no matter how good you are as a player, the best ability is still availability and it sounds like you don't have that. Be cool, wish them well and step away. Good luck
It is unfair to the players who are rehearsing regularly, putting in the work to learn the songs and trying to move forward together for the half-in person to continue to stake a claim to the group as if they should be able to float in and out at will. You would do well to find a group of players who want to play, but don't have the time to do anything more than a casual jam when time permits.
Sometimes, no matter how good you are as a player, the best ability is still availability and it sounds like you don't have that. Be cool, wish them well and step away. Good luck
Sounds like you were absent for a few band meetings. Also sounds like no one told you they decided to move on with a different bass player.
It also sounds like you spend a lot of time in your head. Have you talked to the band about this? Was the singer even in a position to tell you you're not in the band?
It also sounds like you spend a lot of time in your head. Have you talked to the band about this? Was the singer even in a position to tell you you're not in the band?
Sounds like they have a stage full of musicians, including bass...
and you don't know the material, just want to jam on top of it for fun.
Not trying to offend, but I can't imagine why you think you should be there.
^^^^This.
And you said something like you were always playing drunk at parties. It sounds like you have more red flags than they do, no offense.