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Yeah, you lost me at them having a bassist already...are you playing guitar or something else?
Too many waiters at the table means splitting the check into even smaller chunks. Perhaps that's their thought process? I wouldn't play in a "rock band" (whatever that means these days...) with more than 5 people, singer included. I realize jazz or other bands require more musicians though.
Idk, I don't care for a crowded stage myself so...I guess get another group together and just blow them off?
Too many waiters at the table means splitting the check into even smaller chunks. Perhaps that's their thought process? I wouldn't play in a "rock band" (whatever that means these days...) with more than 5 people, singer included. I realize jazz or other bands require more musicians though.
Idk, I don't care for a crowded stage myself so...I guess get another group together and just blow them off?
Hurricane Jimmie
Supporting Member
So Anyway, when you say...
ive been playing a long ass time so jumping into stuff i dont know font and back doesn't bother me,
Well apparently, it does bother them.
Find some other folks to play with who are more in sync with your commitment and outlook.
Good Luck to you.
ive been playing a long ass time so jumping into stuff i dont know font and back doesn't bother me,
Well apparently, it does bother them.
Find some other folks to play with who are more in sync with your commitment and outlook.
Good Luck to you.
OK, so you love playing. Plus one point. You show up at a gig, and don't know the songs...minus a thousand. It seems you're not being around has gotten you to a point where you're not useful to them.
How do you get to Carnegie Hall? You practice. Yes, there are other things that are important in a band, but if your chops/song knowledge are at a level where you can't contribute, they don't help. You gotta be able to play and contribute musically - that's required in any musical situation.
It also appears that the rest of the folks assumed you knew you were't really in the band, but noone ever had that conversation with you. From this viewpoint, I can't tell who dropped that ball, but if you weren't around for a bunch of rehearsals, you probably should have asked at some point - that would have avoided some of the awkwardness.
Yes, tough love. Sorry.
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Life is like that. Sometimes you're the shoe, Sometimes you're the spider.
Given the obvious signals that you are not in that band that you seem to be mostly ignoring, I am going to head the other way.
You are under-thinking this. Take the hint.
Or have a pointed conversation with them where you ask: am I in this band or not?
See if they have the stones to tell you to your face.
You are under-thinking this. Take the hint.
Or have a pointed conversation with them where you ask: am I in this band or not?
See if they have the stones to tell you to your face.
They sent you the memo, my friend. It seems you haven’t read it. Very sorry.
One thing I learned early, nothing is permanent and don’t waste time speculating on what might have been. Appreciate what you got from your last experience and apply it to your next endeavor.
Also, don’t burn bridges and there’s a chance down the road you may get an offer to return. No one can predict the future so it pays to keep all options open.
Also, don’t burn bridges and there’s a chance down the road you may get an offer to return. No one can predict the future so it pays to keep all options open.
I wouldn't dream of showing up on a gig with players I know, much less friends, and expect to play the gig or even sit in while not really knowing the tunes, much less 'add color' . . . .
In terms of this band, your life and choices kept you distanced from them and they're moving on.
This happens.
Nothing to over-think: It appears the ship has sailed, and now it's up to you to find another situation.
And I'd highly urge you to let it go. We've all gone through similar situations, and they can never be made right, so best to replace the angst with new, fresh accomplishments.
In terms of this band, your life and choices kept you distanced from them and they're moving on.
This happens.
Nothing to over-think: It appears the ship has sailed, and now it's up to you to find another situation.
And I'd highly urge you to let it go. We've all gone through similar situations, and they can never be made right, so best to replace the angst with new, fresh accomplishments.
I play in a wedding band and if I had a member who constantly didnt know songs or come to practice (even if they were great at theory/had excellent ears), I wouldnt want to play with them either.
for paid gigs, you dont want flimsy members. I don't know how good your ears are to be able to compensate not knowing the material, but if i was the band leader, I wouldnt want to risk it either.
Granted they probably should have been more forward with telling you at least
for paid gigs, you dont want flimsy members. I don't know how good your ears are to be able to compensate not knowing the material, but if i was the band leader, I wouldnt want to risk it either.
Granted they probably should have been more forward with telling you at least
I'm fairly good at improvising, but even the best improvisers need a roadmap of some sort. Jam arrangements have a beginning, a middle, and and end. The jam part is usually in the middle, but the changes are generally standard and well-known (I-IV-V or some other standard pattern). Even a really good improviser needs a framework. If you don't know the songs at all, you'd better be very good at two things: 1) Hanging back on the first beat and 2) being fast enough to hear where you need to go and be there on "one-and" and making it sound like it's rhythmically supposed to be played like that.
Flying by the seat of your pants like that can be fun, but it gets old and it can also be exhausting. It'll never sound as good as it would if you actually knew where you were headed.
It's always good for musical growth to play with people who are better than you. But sometimes the gap is just too wide. Sounds like you need to find players that are closer to your level.
Folks are being a bit harsh on you here. Basically you played a big role in creating the collective, and were integral to it for a decade. It might have evolved into something you don't fit in anymore, but you didn't deserve to be treated so dismissively and disrespectfully. There were easy ways any of that mob could have been adult, but they chose not to be. As some noted above, that's not unusual for "musicians" though.
Echoing some comments above, learn from it and move on. If you miss playing, set up a new jam and invite new people, or any guys from that group you still like. Don't let it derail your fun playing!
Echoing some comments above, learn from it and move on. If you miss playing, set up a new jam and invite new people, or any guys from that group you still like. Don't let it derail your fun playing!
... Maybe. Not, really though IMO.
Showing up to play a professional gig without knowing the songs or being prepared and just jumping on stage to add color, now that's dismissive and disrespectful to not just your bandmates but probably the audience that's there, too.
Bad experiences contain valuable lessons more so than good ones.
At least you have that.
But, if you don't look at it that way than you wasted precious time.
It is hard to make suggestions when the whole picture is not clear, so, I can't say you were treated wrong. You have given some hints in your post that you may not have been business-like and dependable enough for the band, if I read correctly.
At least you have that.
But, if you don't look at it that way than you wasted precious time.
It is hard to make suggestions when the whole picture is not clear, so, I can't say you were treated wrong. You have given some hints in your post that you may not have been business-like and dependable enough for the band, if I read correctly.
My guess is that there's a wide gap between how seriously the OP takes things and how seriously the rest of the group evolved to take things while the OP wasn't very present. Because the OP wasn't present, he didn't notice the changes taking place. He wasn't there for the conversations, etc.
I don't think there's a "mob" actively trying to take him down. If this were a band I was in, I'd be a little surprised that someone who is mostly absent is planning to play a show with us. It sounded to me like the person he spoke with was a bit surprised by this, as well. I'm not sure what the OP expects from a group with which he apparently has so little real involvement.
But, I do think it's presumptuous for the OP to assume that he can just strut in whenever he feels like it and play songs he doesn't know on a stage at a show where there's an audience. A private jam for fun where people come and go is one thing, but when a more serious group develops out of that sort of situation, you no longer have a private jam for fun. It seems to me that this is what happened but the OP was so uninvolved that he just never got the memo, but now wants to play the gig anyway.
The group seems to have gone off on its own and grown without him, and they're all a bit hesitant to let him know they don't really need him anymore. That doesn't sound like a mob. It sounds like a group of people who are trying to be nice to someone who isn't taking a hint.
Right. Agreed. That's the gist of what I was saying but in one sentence rather than 4 paragraphs.
I often quote posts to add affirmation to the comment I am quoting, in this case I am affirming your argument with the post you quoted, and offering additional stuff to support you.
Quoting someone isn't always arguing with them. I wish people understood that better. It should have been obvious from my tone that I was not arguing with you, but it seems in today's world we are only supposed to quote people if we want to fight with them.
This happens to me here at least once a week.
Oh, and the other thing is the implication that actually writing text is a bad thing on a text based forum. If you don't want to read four paragraphs, YouTube is your friend.