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At what point they were 'supposed' to tell you depends how much you missed.
It might be you missed so much formative work, they didnt even entertain you'd be on the gig.
I'm not sure where you got the impression you would be if they didnt specifically book you.
In my world, you are on the gig if you are asked, told the whole deal and you accept.
If you werent, you aren't.
Associations and line ups evolve all the time but if I was 90% plus involved in a unit, you are on the gig, if you are 50%, then you are specifically booked.
If close to the latter, or worse, I can't imagine why you think you'd be on the gig and because this was pretty obvious to the others no one really thought to have the conversation.
I do not see that you have grasped what happened.
They moved on.
It might be you missed so much formative work, they didnt even entertain you'd be on the gig.
I'm not sure where you got the impression you would be if they didnt specifically book you.
In my world, you are on the gig if you are asked, told the whole deal and you accept.
If you werent, you aren't.
Associations and line ups evolve all the time but if I was 90% plus involved in a unit, you are on the gig, if you are 50%, then you are specifically booked.
If close to the latter, or worse, I can't imagine why you think you'd be on the gig and because this was pretty obvious to the others no one really thought to have the conversation.
I do not see that you have grasped what happened.
They moved on.
This, plus the fact that there was already someone else there on bass should've been a clue. They probably just allowed OP to hang out at rehearsals due to being a charter member. They likely were stunned when it was assumed to be on the gig.
To a reasonable person, it makes sense you wouldn't be on the gig.
The fact the OP popped back into rehearsals, seems to me he expected to still be in the band. Someone should have had the talk with him.
I'm not sure if the OP, at one point, simply stopped coming to rehearsals. Someone should have asked him.
When the band hired a new bass player, someone should have had the talk with the OP.
Communication is key. If you didn't say it and no one else said it, it was never said. The whole band seems to be rather passive. Someone needed to act as the band leader.
This is my read on the situation.
Redundant Bassist is now my new solo project band name.
It’s funny, “please let me know if I’m overthinking things” means “I’m overthinking things and I know it but don’t want to do the work to think properly, maybe one of you will give me a pass?”.
It’s just like the classic “I know I shouldn’t say this but…” Stop!! Don’t say it! A poopy person collection of words is about to come out of your mouth! Don’t be that person!
It’s just like the classic “I know I shouldn’t say this but…” Stop!! Don’t say it! A poopy person collection of words is about to come out of your mouth! Don’t be that person!
shocked at the number of responses here and i wanted to clear some things up. and thanks for everyone giving their 2 cents!
-its not that i 'show up when i feel like it', my work changed so i've only been able to get out to group practice a few times a month. and before that we had been playing a couple times a week for like 10 years, so when i couldnt make it out as much i didnt think much of it. we've all been friends since grade school, these dudes are not just some rando dudes that i jam with.
-basically it comes down to my drummer met 2 guitarists/singers which pushed one of our guitarists to start playing bass when I wasn't around. then i start showing up again and theres not enough amps, and just too many cooks. w/o including me the group has a drummer, 4 guitarists, bassist, and sometimes keys so its like where the feck do i fit in?
and really id be fine being guitarist number 3/5 (depending on who shows up) and just playing along on rhythm. at this point i've been able to go back to recordings and find out what song their doing so i can look up the chords my self and practice and stuff.....basically im hoping next time i play maybe this one guy in particular wont seem so annoyed about me being there b/c ill be able to contribute more to the music. idk. i just wanna have fun!
does anyone know if posting in a FB group will show up on your friends feed? b/c i want to make a post looking for like minded musicians but id really rather not my mates see that post and take it the wrong way. thanks again everyone.
-its not that i 'show up when i feel like it', my work changed so i've only been able to get out to group practice a few times a month. and before that we had been playing a couple times a week for like 10 years, so when i couldnt make it out as much i didnt think much of it. we've all been friends since grade school, these dudes are not just some rando dudes that i jam with.
-basically it comes down to my drummer met 2 guitarists/singers which pushed one of our guitarists to start playing bass when I wasn't around. then i start showing up again and theres not enough amps, and just too many cooks. w/o including me the group has a drummer, 4 guitarists, bassist, and sometimes keys so its like where the feck do i fit in?
and really id be fine being guitarist number 3/5 (depending on who shows up) and just playing along on rhythm. at this point i've been able to go back to recordings and find out what song their doing so i can look up the chords my self and practice and stuff.....basically im hoping next time i play maybe this one guy in particular wont seem so annoyed about me being there b/c ill be able to contribute more to the music. idk. i just wanna have fun!
does anyone know if posting in a FB group will show up on your friends feed? b/c i want to make a post looking for like minded musicians but id really rather not my mates see that post and take it the wrong way. thanks again everyone.
Still reads to me that they've moved on because they likely go fed up practising with no bass.
They want to formalise into a band and you are now not really in their plans.
I'd be surprised you would be 'welcome' at rehearsals now...that doesn't mean you aren't still friends, you are just surplus and the only thing stopping them taking a hard stand over this is the 'friend' thing.
Re FB, tell them you want to play, and if their option isn't on the table, you will try and find something that is.
But any percieved lack of commitment there will likely end the same, imv.
They want to formalise into a band and you are now not really in their plans.
I'd be surprised you would be 'welcome' at rehearsals now...that doesn't mean you aren't still friends, you are just surplus and the only thing stopping them taking a hard stand over this is the 'friend' thing.
Re FB, tell them you want to play, and if their option isn't on the table, you will try and find something that is.
But any percieved lack of commitment there will likely end the same, imv.
I wouldn't want to be part of that. Unless everyone is extremely self-disciplined, or you tag-team guitarists in and out, this will be a sonic mess playing live. You could try to take one or two of the excess guitarists, find a drummer and do your own thing.
What's "the wrong way?" As I posted before because of your other committments they've had to move on without you. It's a good move on your part, in my opinion, to get into something new where you will be needed.
Best of luck.
I don't think your mates would mind if you pursued another project. Seeing as you don't know you'd fit in the current lineup, there doesn't seem to be anything to take the wrong way. It does seem that you have doubts as to who is actually in this band. Seeing as no one has talked to you regarding your status, except that odd interaction where someone questioned why you would think you would be playing at a show, I would quit being passive about this and ask directly. I'm fairly certain you already know the answer to this, which is why you are dodging it. Rip the band aid off, pursue another project, these guys have already moved on, it's just that no one has had the stones to tell you.
i think you all are right...time to move on....which blows but whatever new thing i set up i will for sure bring my 'ace card' which is my buddy i brought into the group who absolutely kills it on guitar. from joe pass to stevie ray vaugh to whatever. the three different groups we've jammed w/ have all been like 'holy smokes this guy is freakin good!' lol. thanks again everyone. i just needed to put my thoughts from pen to paper so to speak to come to terms w/ it lol.
who knows maybe this year i can have my dream group together. id like to cover more 'fun' songs. like santana, GD of course, JGB covers of songs, Neil Young, Lou Reed, various 80s guilty pleasure power ballads, reggae stuff, and whatever else other members want to do. i've played enough 90s grunge/alt, aaron lewis, etc to last a lifetime. still fun to play but having a fresh group w/ a new take would be nice. okay enough word vomit...thanks again everybody!
who knows maybe this year i can have my dream group together. id like to cover more 'fun' songs. like santana, GD of course, JGB covers of songs, Neil Young, Lou Reed, various 80s guilty pleasure power ballads, reggae stuff, and whatever else other members want to do. i've played enough 90s grunge/alt, aaron lewis, etc to last a lifetime. still fun to play but having a fresh group w/ a new take would be nice. okay enough word vomit...thanks again everybody!
Not to be rude....but you dont know the material, you brought the guitar player in that sounds to be about 100% better than you, who is in the group. You are not in the band. You should not be in this band, Sorry, but you are like a BUNCH of other guys I have met along the way, dont want to learn the songs, practice, but BOY DO THEY WANT TO SHOW UP AND PLAY THE GIG.....dude, dont be that guy.
I was in a lot of gigs with Jazz and Funk bands without knowing the songs. That is not a problem if know how to play, if you have a good feel and good theoretical khnowledge (and a lot of practice and jam sessions). And they always invited me to play with them after (and paid me!).
Yes, one example, the armenian jazz pianist Harry Tavitian invited me to play with him, I never played with him before, I didn't know his repertoire, and my first concert with him it lasted three hours. I didn't do any rehearsal before the concert and after he hired me for the whole tour.