A real band would all live together in a van down by the river. 
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Guitar Player can't rehearse tonight because he has to help his wife get ready for Halloween in two days.
- Thread starter 51PRI
- Start date
While having excuses goes with the territory of being in bands with anyone who has another important person or people in their life, I'd say "I have to help someone with something in a couple of days" is a pretty weird one.
That said, I'm in a band with a few people that are married, some with kids, a couple with jobs that screw up the last practices of the months... it happens. And we don't gig at all, this is just our weekly hang to blow off steam. So I have to remain positive and cheerful that we get them as often as we do, not lament how many times they call off.
If "practice" ends up as beers, pizza, and pool, with little to no jammin'... OH WELL! Next week is another chance.
But if I were in a SERIOUS band where we NEEDED to be precise and do things more regimented, then flimsy excuses like that would be reason for looking for another member. I'll definite agree to that fact.
That said, I'm in a band with a few people that are married, some with kids, a couple with jobs that screw up the last practices of the months... it happens. And we don't gig at all, this is just our weekly hang to blow off steam. So I have to remain positive and cheerful that we get them as often as we do, not lament how many times they call off.
If "practice" ends up as beers, pizza, and pool, with little to no jammin'... OH WELL! Next week is another chance.
But if I were in a SERIOUS band where we NEEDED to be precise and do things more regimented, then flimsy excuses like that would be reason for looking for another member. I'll definite agree to that fact.
Family always comes first, ALWAYS.
If the band is not your primary source of income and/or you’re not even gigging, you need to lighten up.
If the band is not your primary source of income and/or you’re not even gigging, you need to lighten up.
This is maybe the most succinct and spot on response here.
If I had a band that was rehearsing to work up material but wasn't willing to book gigs yet, it would 100% not be a priority for me. Also assuming it is a cover band (or even originals with recordings to reference), you come in the room with your parts learned, run the tunes, make sure everything is copacetic, and move on. Assuming all the members have some time to woodshed stuff throughout the week, this formula has always been a winning one.
Being paid to rehearse, or have upcoming paying gigs to prepare for? Now it would become more of a priority.
That 1 night sacrifice probably freed him up for several other nights that would otherwise be in question. Trust that he knows how to deal with his wife
There is much merit in this approach. If I need to miss a rehearsal, there is a good reason and I don't need anyone's permission. Same if it's someone else who can't make it. I don't need to here their excuse, just move on to the next week or whatever. It's called respect for each other.
Your cousin is right. I only like to rehearse with a band if there is a goal and that usually means recording, a show or both. I'll learn the songs on my own and be prepared so the rehearsal is basically a run through of the show with the focus on beginnings, endings, segways and parts that need to be tightened. I trust that everyone else will show up with the same level of professionalism. A rehearsal for rehearsal's sake is a waste of time to me and to many other musicians. I've done plenty of gigs with no rehearsals and if everyone is bringing their A game it all seems to work out.
When I was in a band which roundly became my full time deal, where we gigged at least once a week (or more, on occasion), we had a standing Tuesday night rehearsal. We were all married or in relationships, I worked a day gig, and 2 of my bandmates ran their own businesses as well. We were busy, writing material, and everyone was engaged. Everyone understood and committed to Tuesday nights and we rarely had issues. If someone had something come up personally and alerted us in time, we collectively tried to move the rehearsal. If we'd been playing a bunch and were well-oiled, we would sometimes skip a week. Occasionally, one member couldn't make it and we'd still meet to work on things that didn't require everyone being there. In other words - be flexible. This either/or stuff for a band that isn't everyone's primary money maker is a quick way to sow discord. If your band can't handle skipping a rehearsal and catching up next week, then that single rehearsal isn't going to make or break anything. If it does, there are deeper problems to deal with.
Ah mom butts, a man of taste I see
So you've been playing in bands for 60 years and you still haven't figure things like this out? You're getting great advice from people with 1/10th of your experience.
I was going to say "band drama," but this isn't even band drama, this is just run of the mill band stuff.
part of me thinks you're just trolling now ...
Party night, clear goals, and getting it right aren't mutually exclusive
You can have a ton of fun and still have clear goals and get things done.
Halloween is pretty important. A celebration of unholy "things ".
(#2 after Xmas for making money. )
(#2 after Xmas for making money. )
Your cousin's not wrong. Most gigging bands always have a few gigs booked. A good band can be ready to go with very little or no rehearsal IME.
My opinion is that, unless you have imminent gigs on the books, band "rehearsal" should take lower priority than regular life. If you're not gigging, then it's just a hobby gathering of musicians.
I spent nearly a decade in just such a group, while all of us were busy playing with other bands all over the place. We would get together weekly, write material, improvise, workshop, etc. We only played out as a group a few times, though collectively between the 3 of us we easily played at least a few thousand gigs during that 10 years. No one got their feelings hurt if someone needed a week or month off to address other priorities in life - family or otherwise. It was a good run.
I spent nearly a decade in just such a group, while all of us were busy playing with other bands all over the place. We would get together weekly, write material, improvise, workshop, etc. We only played out as a group a few times, though collectively between the 3 of us we easily played at least a few thousand gigs during that 10 years. No one got their feelings hurt if someone needed a week or month off to address other priorities in life - family or otherwise. It was a good run.
Hurricane Jimmie
Supporting Member
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Then our gig season started. During the season, rehearsal is the last set.
We've usually ran everyone off by then.
So Anyway, I think we our most recent rehearsal was in March.
Then our gig season started. During the season, rehearsal is the last set.
We've usually ran everyone off by then.
When a bandmate can't make practice because their spouse wants them to do something that seems "silly" to you, what it means is that you really don't understand their dynamic - marriages are full of situations where people do stuff that makes no sense to outsiders, but if you actually knew everything that was going on...it would make perfect sense.
Your bandmate probably has a decent set pf priorities - it's always good to work (even in a hobby thing) with folks like that. Count yourself lucky.
Your bandmate probably has a decent set pf priorities - it's always good to work (even in a hobby thing) with folks like that. Count yourself lucky.
...sharing one toothbrush.A real band would all live together in a van down by the river.
Well, the goal is to be ready to book gigs. You rehearse to learn enough songs to be ready, and feel ready, to book gigs. Back in the day I got a phone call from a local musician. It was New Years Eve. He needed me to play guitar. I asked him who else was playing and he told me. I thought, well they have a three piece band (he played guitar and sang) so all I have to do it do fills and guitar solos...should be easy. Only later, on stage, did I realize that they weren't a band and didn't KNOW any songs. At this was at one of the animal clubs on NYE. We got through the night and didn't get killed but it was a miserable experience. Imagine after a song the band leader, or at least the person whose gig it was, turns around and says "okay, whatta ya'll wanna play now?" and nobody has an answer. I couldn't name right now a single song we played. That's a long way of saying I like to be prepared when I play a gig.
The goal is to GET ready to gig, and we're far from it.
Getting paid to rehearse just doesn't happen here. I've never been paid to rehearse.
I've done gigs without rehearsals, too, but I don't like it (see above). The point of rehearsing, if its a BAND situation and not just a subbing situation, is to learn songs, the kind of songs the band intends to play unless you're just going to play the old standards like Mustang Sally and Brown Eyed Girl that everybody knows and is sick of.
That's all I'm saying. You're an adult and you've committed to Tuesday night rehearsals to get ready to start booking gigs and then you cancel about 3 times a month, sometimes for good (health or other) reasons, sometimes not so much IMO, and then you ask (and he DID) "how can we get this moving forward quicker?" I wanted to say "If you'd shown up and have your parts learned" but I didn't.