Guitar Player can't rehearse tonight because he has to help his wife get ready for Halloween in two days.

[51PRI]

That's called passive aggressiveness on the part of all of your bandmates.

That is true, and he knows it, too, cause he has mentioned it.

 

[friskinator]

Not even if you enjpy playing music? Just give it up and quit?

Yes, absolutely. Sometimes the juice isn't worth the squeeze anymore.

 

[JazznFunk]

If I were in this position, I'd quit gigging altogether. The nonsense isn't worth it. Not even kind of.

If I were in this position, with this group of people, that's what I'd do too. Write, record at home, regroup until you can get in a new situation with new players which doesn't feel like a chore. There are functional bands out there where everyone is responsible, learns their stuff independently, and doesn't have to rehearse every week to be functional and tight. Not every scene has those players for sure, but I've removed myself from situations like this because I don't have time for it.... and time is the most precious (and depreciating) asset in life.

 

[51PRI]

Yes, absolutely. Sometimes the juice isn't worth the squeeze anymore.

If I were in this position, with this group of people, that's what I'd do too. Write, record at home, regroup until you can get in a new situation with new players which doesn't feel like a chore. There are functional bands out there where everyone is responsible, learns their stuff independently, and doesn't have to rehearse every week to be functional and tight. Not every scene has those players for sure, but I've removed myself from situations like this because I don't have time for it.... and time is the most precious (and depreciating) asset in life.

Okay, so I guess what I could do is just say something like "guys, rehearsing to put a set list together to get a gig isn't working. We've been trying for a while and we're not getting anywhere and I think we all know it. So how about if we suspend rehearsals till we get a gig and when that happens we can get together once and maybe just discuss a set list of songs that we already know that, while we may be tired of them, we CAN play to get through a gig. What do you think?"

What do you think?

 

[jerry]

I'm not talking to the op here, but this is for any young players that might loiter in the band management page: practice, get good and know your worth and you won't have to deal with any of this crap!
Musicianship is like water, it seeks its own level!

 

[friskinator]

Okay, so I guess what I could do is just say something like "guys, rehearsing to put a set list together to get a gig isn't working. We've been trying for a while and we're not getting anywhere and I think we all know it. So how about if we suspend rehearsals till we get a gig and when that happens we can get together once and maybe just discuss a set list of songs that we already know that, while we may be tired of them, we CAN play to get through a gig. What do you think?"

What do you think?

This is the way. Unless you’d rather just keep doing what you’re doing.

 

[JazznFunk]

So.... did everyone have fun on halloween!? We did!

 

[moon-bass]

So.... did everyone have fun on halloween!? We did!

Well, speaking of helping the wife get ready for Halloween ...

 

[51PRI]

What I have come to realize is that, when one person keeps cancelling rehearsals and also is the one texting "can everyone practice tonight" he has passively-aggressively set himself up as band leader, at least for rehearsals.

I the other band project we have rehearsed three times and nobody has called to cancel or texted to ask if we're rehearsing. We're adults and we can keep up with days and time and we set rehearsal time and we all show up.

Isn't that the way it should be?

 

[pepj]

Everyone knows that rehearsals are sometimes a necessary evil so they do them as long as they are useful and achieve something meaninful.
These are kept to a minimum.
If someone is cancelling, then you take it there is a very good reason. What you do not take is a pattern of same person cancelling..because this can likely impact everyones diary and how they need to assign time.
I'd say 3 cancellations from same person needs to be understood..family crisis, health issue etc...and the band retains the right to use someone else.
Its that simple..no silly games, no posturing.
Yes or no. We can get someone else.

 

[MultiScaleMale]

I see know problem sending a text to verify everyone is still on for rehearsal. Things come up and life happens. I’d rather know before I’ve loaded everything up and planned on rehearsing that night.

 

[Zooberwerx]

Heading into another holiday...shouldn't we be starting a new thread?

We're converting our rehearsal space (detached garage) into a dining room for 25. Also pitching an auxiliary events tent to handle the overflow.

Riis

 

[JazznFunk]

What I have come to realize is that, when one person keeps cancelling rehearsals and also is the one texting "can everyone practice tonight" he has passively-aggressively set himself up as band leader, at least for rehearsals.

I the other band project we have rehearsed three times and nobody has called to cancel or texted to ask if we're rehearsing. We're adults and we can keep up with days and time and we set rehearsal time and we all show up.

Isn't that the way it should be?

QUIT THIS BAND. Almost a month later and this is still a thing?

 

[turf3]

Yep, seems like it's about time for another whine and cheese party.

 

[51PRI]

Yeah.....fired.

Different people have different priorities. If they don't mesh well, friction, heat and entropy result.

If this kind of thing from your guitar player is an infrequent, once in a long while kind of thing I would zip up and let it pass. If it happens too often to be comfortable for you, then your priorities and his aren't meshing and it's highly unlikely that they can be made to mesh. Perhaps time to look for another band situation (or another guitar player)?

Rehearsal….what’s that?

Could you possibly complain just a bit more about your “band?”

Didn't we have this thread last year? It rises from the crypt...

Yes, I’m pretty sure this same guy had the same “issue” last year for a weekly rehearsal that fell on Halloween. And he’s getting the same advice now as he got then.

Is this your first band? Serious question.

Isn’t this the guy who plays multiple extended solos in every song?

Nah, just another continuing 51 bitch session. In my world it's family first! Everything else can follow.

How does this type of whining get onto a forum and have 2+ pages of response?

Why is rehearsal even needed (newbies?) and how is it more important than this guy’s family? Is there a big show coming and your band is not ready??

Maybe playing in a band is not the ONLY priority in the guitarist’s life, that’s not unreasonable… but your expectations clearly are.

Is this the same band you constantly complain about on here? The same band that you've tried to make into something it clearly doesn't want to be, and that you're not happy in? Unless a band has a show ON Halloween (like one of my old bands did), just give it rest.

Maybe the same guitarist from a year ago that he kept saying “supposedly” about being in surgery for 7 hours after a heart attack? Seems like a stand up bandmate to complain nonstop.

I guess the Band Name thread isn’t getting enough traction so we’re being treated to the usual dreck. At least you know your lane.

I am truly torn on this one. How much do I appreciate the comedic crap you post, is it enough to keep me from blocking you? Finding the answer may take me all day.

I'm wondering if there is an equivalent guitar forum (TalkGuitar, abbreviated TG??????) where the guitarist is complaining about the bassist that complains a lot while having unrealistic expectations for a garage band.

Also, I wonder if there is a TalkDrummer group that even has legible posts ... ;-)

Dude

Didn't you post this same stuff last year about a bandmate skipping for halloween because of his kids.

Relax, you're not The Beatles Paul your bandmates wife isn't Yoko.

To paraphrase Allen Iverson "It's practice, man. Not a gig. It's practice. Practice.

Seriously, I'd love to hear what your bandmates say about your attitude and constant griping.

You're thinking of his last band. This is a new one.

Is this another endless rehearsals/occasional gigs band?

Canceled practice. 7 pages. This is like TB from before the format change.



Fire the drummer.

please, put the band that play only covers and generate no money before your family.

If I were in this position, I'd quit gigging altogether. The nonsense isn't worth it. Not even kind of.

Heading into another holiday...shouldn't we be starting a new thread?

We're converting our rehearsal space (detached garage) into a dining room for 25. Also pitching an auxiliary events tent to handle the overflow.

Riis

QUIT THIS BAND. Almost a month later and this is still a thing?

Yep, seems like it's about time for another whine and cheese party.

I think my time here is done.

I joined Talkbass when I became the bands bass player. I was hoping to be a part of a community that would discuss things, especially band problems, if nothing else to vent but also to possibly get ideas for solutions. I'm not mad at anyone but the resolution to grief I'm getting ratio just isn't working out for me right now. Thanks to those of you who I DIDN'T quote here for discussing this topic in a civil manner.

 

[FRoss6788]

I simply asked a question.

 

[brbadg]

my son's GF was finishing a group project in her fourth year of her university major and the person who had something that had to be done, said she couldn't do it because it was her cat's birthday

and they're in the medical field...

Also, young folks. It's tough.

 

[brbadg]

I think my time here is done.

I joined Talkbass when I became the bands bass player. I was hoping to be a part of a community that would discuss things, especially band problems, if nothing else to vent but also to possibly get ideas for solutions. I'm not mad at anyone but the resolution to grief I'm getting ratio just isn't working out for me right now. Thanks to those of you who I DIDN'T quote here for discussing this topic in a civil manner.

I don't understand why you wouldn't expect this. There are all kinds of smartasses out there. There are a few good suggestions here.
Take them for what they're worth and move on. Band vs life is a never ending struggle.

 

[Guitalia]

Just read your thread from May about two of your scheduled weekend gigs. The first was an outdoor event that was rained/mudded out, and the second was a festival that your band headlined that wasn't rained out. Everyone in that thread shared their insights from similar experiences, and everyone seemed to enjoy the thread.

Similarly, some of the apparent pushback you get in your threads about band problems is from the frustration the posters feel about our own histories of being stuck in bands with people who don't take the work as seriously as we do.

I just joined and left a band within three weeks a couple of months ago, for exactly that reason. Took me a long time to figure out that I don't have time for time-wasters.

So if I complain about complaining about bad band behavior but sticking with the band, I'm really saying, don't make the mistakes that I made.

 

[KenD]

I think my time here is done.

I joined Talkbass when I became the bands bass player. I was hoping to be a part of a community that would discuss things, especially band problems, if nothing else to vent but also to possibly get ideas for solutions. I'm not mad at anyone but the resolution to grief I'm getting ratio just isn't working out for me right now. Thanks to those of you who I DIDN'T quote here for discussing this topic in a civil manner.

Excuuuuuuse me!